Man Among Boys

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“You can do a lot of things wrong as a parent, but if your daughter’s a stripper, you f*cked up” – Chris Rock from his “Never Scared” stand-up routine

I feel sorry for Lawrence Fishburne in some ways.  Any time your daughter chooses to do porn, you’ve got problems.

Oh, he’s still getting put in the category of “Just Not Manly, but I do it with a sympathetic ear…

That hotbed of breaking news, TMZ, has reported that Montana Fishburne has decided to make a hardcore porn movie to make her big push into Hollywood, but you have to think that in some ways, this is daddy’s fault.

Lawrence Fishburne needs to look himself in the mirror and ask himself a few questions.

“What did I do wrong?  What did I do to make Montana think that teabagging men on camera is a good resume padder? What did I do to make her think that Kim Kardashian is a good role model? Dear Lord, what did I do to make my daughter wanna be a HO??!!”

Montana, who is taking on the porn name “Chippy D”,  is also quoted in the TMZ article as saying, “The first time is really nerve racking … but, I have a lot of at-home experience.”  Basically you just told the world you’re a skank.  Samuel Jackson is probably somewhere putting his arm around Lawrence Fishburne right now saying, “Man, I thought I had a f*cked up past…”

(On another note, what black man names his daughter Montana?  That’s like Piper or Madison.  That’s a new one on me, but I digress.)

In “The Matrix”,  Morpheus, played by Lawrence Fishburn, offered Thomas Anderson (Keanu Reeves) the choice to continue his cushy existence by taking the green pill or to wake up to reality by taking the red pill.  I bet even Morpheus would really like a green pill right now.  F*ck knowing the truth.  F*ck the sentinels, the Oracle, and the Matrix.  F*ck Keanu Reeves and his long black trench coat.  Give him the green pill.  He needs to go back to fantasy land when his little girl didn’t want to make Deepthroat part 2.

Lawrence, I gotta give you a label of “Just Not Manly”, but I do so with a heavy heart.  I promise to give Montana a great review in her film debut

Feel free to comment.

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This post has 677 words. It will take approximately 6 minutes, 46 secondes for reading it.

A man should be able to admit when someone outworks him and be motivated to do more.  I got outworked.  I got outhustled. You did too.  I don’t care who you are.

I was watching CNN while I was doing my morning cardio and they showcased a story on Steve Ortiz of Glendora, California. Pretty much your normal 17 year old high school kid…except that he gets it.  He knows how to hustle.  He found an angle and made it work for him.

He started with an old cell phone and turned that into a 2000 Porsche Boxster.  That some return on investment for your ass right there.

Basically he looked at the market, found what the demand was and kept it moving.  It’s something we can all learn from.  He started with an old cell phone and used the bartering section on Craigslist to get a better cell phone.  Then he traded that cell phone for an IPad.  An Ipad for a dirtbike.  Dirtbike for a Mac Book Pro, and on and on.  After two years and 14 trades, he finally got a Porsche.

Wow.  I have to admit that’s an angle I hadn’t thought of, using Craigslist that way.  The way he did it is like buying penny stocks until you get enough to buy on the Exchange.  Hats off to him.  He admits it wasn’t easy but he talked about a few things that you need to have to make this, or any hustle work:

(Note: He didn’t say some of these things directly, but you could pull them from the teenage language; after all, he’s still 17. He may not even know what he did, but he had the gumption to do it)

• Vision – he knew he didn’t want an old cell phone. It was a starting point, and he knew that if he worked hard enough he could do better. He had the vision to see that there was potential and there could me more.
• Perseverance – Ortiz openly admits that it wasn’t easy.  It took 2 hours a day of scouring Craigslist for potential trade partners.  It took 14 trades and two years to get to the Porsche.  He probably heard “you’re crazy” a lot and got rejected.  That didn’t seem to deter him.  The young man kept going.
• Managing Up – This is a key one that we can use in any business transaction.  “Managing Up” means to control a situation even though you may not be in a dominant position (ex – trying to get something from your boss).  You won’t always be in a position of strength but you have to always appear that you are.  Present your product as the best option, whatever it is, and try to make it seem like it was their idea.  Don’t automatically concede to the other party just because they have something you want.  When Ortiz traded that old cell phone for a newer model, he wasn’t in a position of strength.  Who wants an old cell phone?  But he got the deal done.
• Your Word Is Your Bond – Don’t say something that you’re not willing to do.  You’ll get a bad reputation and people will see through you.  If you say that this is your final offer, don’t make another one after it.  If you say that they have to increase their offer or you’ll walk away, and they don’t increase the offer, walk away.  Otherwise, people will take what you say as empty words and will never take you seriously.

I know I’ve learned a few things.  If a 17 year old could do this with an old cell phone, just think of what someone with some experience and motivation could do.

I think I’m going to start hitting Craigslist myself.  I have a some old business suits and an old surround stereo that I’m not using anymore. I’ll be living in a mansion in the hills in no time.

Feel free to comment.

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This post has 263 words. It will take approximately 2 minutes, 37 secondes for reading it.

Check out this YouTube piece about  case that happened in Florida.  I was watching the news and came across this story.  I’d be interested to hear your feedback.

A mother caught her 5 year old son playing with matches, so she asked a deputy to stage a fake arrest, complete with handcuffs and a ride in the back of the squad car.

She says she did it to teach him a lesson, to scare him straight so he wouldn’t do it again.  Check it out.  I apologize if it’s not clear.  You can YouTube “5 Year Old Fake Arrest” if you want another stream or to find a longer one.

What’s Trueman’s take on it?…..GOOD.  GLAD IT HAPPENED.  Scare his ass!  Mom made a power move that will stay with her son for the rest of his life, and I bet he’ll grow up to be a model citizen.

To all of you saying it was too severe, even crying over this, please, for your own good and the good of all, shut the f*ck up.  Your time-out-stand-in-the-corner-one-minute-per-year-old bullsh*t hasn’t worked.  Kids are worse than ever.  They’re disrespectful and running wild.  We’re losing the battle with them, so it’s time to get old school again.

To the Florida mom who had her son “arrested”, Trueman has your back.  You’ve got more balls than most of them men reading this.  Keep up the good work.

What do you think?  Feel free to comment.

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This post has 605 words. It will take approximately 6 minutes, 3 secondes for reading it.

I went to the Verizon store yesterday to pay my bill and cancel my plan since I’ll be leaving for Costa Rica soon (3 weeks!).  As I approached the door, I hear high pitched screams from inside. There was a teenager, I guess about 15, who was cursing her mother out, calling her all kinds of b*tches and assholes because she had the older model Curve on the family plan and wanted to upgrade to the Storm 2, I guess about a difference of $200.  Mom didn’t have the money so she couldn’t do it.

I tried to handle my business with the other associate but couldn’t really focus because this misbehaved, ill mannered little tramp across from me kept yelling loud enough for everyone in the store to hear. Her mother, noticeably embarassed, stood there with closed eyes, mumbling about wishing her daughter would calm down and “wait until your father hears about this.”

My thought was, “lady, if you punch your daughter in the mouth and stomp her into the carpet a few times, I’ll tell the cops that she tripped over her shoelaces and busted her lip when they get here.”

There is no way on God’s green earth, any kid, mine or yours would get away with that.  Oh hell no. Call family services or whoever you need to.  I don’t care.  If your kid tried to mouth off to me like that, I’d take off my belt, pass it to you, and politely ask you to handle your business…and mine knows better than to even try it. Bernie Mac (RIP Bernie, you were a true King of Comedy) used to talk about beating kids in their sleep; this little girl needed some night time visits from Mr. Leather Belt as my mother used to say.

Sometimes we need to be reminded of what a strong family and parental unit looks like.  I remember an episode of “Everybody Hates Chris” where Chris mouthed off to his mother “WHAT??!!” because he wanted to be a bad boy and impress some girl.  The next scene was of him in the hospital on his stomach with his butt in the air.  A doctor was looking at an x-ray with what seemed to be his mother’s shoe rammed up his ass saying “I think we can get it out.”

“Everybody Hates Chris” can be a bit sophomoric and buffoon like, but it gives a great picture of what a strong family is.  Julius and Rochelle are in charge.  There no question about that.  The kids are loved, but aren’t bribed or coddled.  And there’s no backtalk.

Most of all, Rochelle can handle business on her own.  You don’t hear her talking about waiting for Julius to come home to help discipline the kids.  He’s working two jobs so he’s busy taking care of the financial end.  SHE runs the household and she’ll whup the boys just as quick as the girl.  She even puts Julius in check too when she needs to.  Rochelle ain’t afraid of nobody.  Even when she’s wrong, she’s right.

If you want to learn how to learn to raise your kids, watch a few episodes of “Everybody Hates Chris.”  You’ll have to look past Tyler James Williams sticking his ears out and bulging his eyes like one of those blackface-type Three Stooges episodes (“Dis House Sho Dunn Gon Crazy!), but some good lessons can be learned.

That’s a strong family right there…even if they don’t really exist.

Feel free to comment.

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This post has 337 words. It will take approximately 3 minutes, 22 secondes for reading it.

I’ve made no secret about the past few years for me.  They’ve been rough.  Very rough.  I’ve been on the brink of self-destruction and begun to rise from the ashes.  I’ve been kicked while I’m down.  I’ve had good time and bad times.  I’ve found out that some of the friends (and even family) I had really ain’t sh*t.

So I’m moving on.  Actually I’m moving south.  No, not Maryland south.  Not Atlanta south.  Not Miami south.

Ever been to Costa Rica?

I was offered an opportunity in Costa Rica and I’ve decided to take it.  It’s about an 18 month commitment but it can be permanent if I choose after that time.  Maybe it’s the change I need to get back on track (don’t worry, Man Among Boys will still be coming at you full force).  I’m moving on, but I’m not leaving the important things behind.

Being a man means you don’t cut and run.  You can move on but you don’t leave behind what’s important to you.  Namely, my son.

I wish I could take him with me, but he has a life here.  Him being a part of my life is a necessity, like food and water. I’ve negotiated that I can come back at least once a month to see him or he can come up to see me.  I want to make sure I’m a part of his life and that he knows I still want to be.

I’ll make sure his computer equipped with Skype and a webcam so we can see each other and talk every.  I’ll also make sure that I install Mikogo (free web conferencing service) so if he has trouble with his math homework that I can go over it with him.

I’m leaving the traffic behind.  I’m leaving the cold weather and harsh winters behind.

My son…not a chance.

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I was going to put another post on here when I came across these pictures online.  There isn’t anything more manly than this.

Feel free to comment.

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This post has 474 words. It will take approximately 4 minutes, 44 secondes for reading it.

Before we get into the meat of the post, I’m going to tell you that in order to understand it, you have to know something about hip-hop.  I don’t mean that garbage Lil’ Wayne puts out, society’s modern-day obsession with the auto tune (every artist that uses it should pay homage to Roger Troutman), or that commercialized stuff that has the BK King grabbin’ the mic.

I mean real, old school, hip-hop.  Beat Street.  Krush Groove.  Treacherous 3.  Cardboard boxes on the sidewalk.  Furry Kangols.  If you don’t know about this stuff, you can try to keep up, but you might not get it.

I was watching television today and I came across this Nike commercial.  It’s a good commercial, but as soon as I heard “the voice”, I was shocked:

Don’t get me wrong.  I like the commercial.  It’s catchy and will help sell sneakers.  But in case you don’t know, the black Santa is the “blastmaster” KRS-One.

The legendary KRS-One. The leader of the mighty BoogieDown Productions.  The same KRS-One that destroyed the careers of MC Shan and the Juice Crew. The same KRS-One that is arguably the greatest lyricist of all time (I’m more partial to Rakim, but I can understand the argument.)

KRS-One was always the conscious mirror of hip-hop.  He wasn’t in it for the money, but for the art.  He always prided himself on doing it for the love.  He bashed those artists who he thought crossed over to the commercialized side.  In fact, he once threw another group off stage during their own performance for not doing what he coined “real hip hop”.

One of the things I admired about him as a man was that he stood steadfast in his beliefs, whether or not they were popular or even the most lucrative.

And now he’s doing sound overs for puppets???

The only reasons I didn’t put this in the “Just Not Manly” category are:

1. It’s KRS-One.  He’s a legend.
2. I’ll never knock someone for trying to earn an honest buck.  That’s insane.

But I have to question this.  To paraphrase a Lauren Hill lyric, did he gain the whole world for the price of his soul?  Did he sell out the art that he helped create?

Or maybe I just hate seeing good old school hip hop wasted on dancing, shucking and jiving puppets.

To all my old school hip hop heads out there…did KRS-One sell out hip hop?  As a man, did he go against his core principles and turn his back on the house he helped build?  This is something lighter for the holiday season, but it’s getting to me…

Feel free to comment.

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I hope you all had a  Happy Thanksgiving. I hope that you ate lots to turkey, watched a few of the NFL games, and fell into a comatose like sleep.  I also hope that you learned a little something about family.

I think that sometimes we take our family for granted.  I mean they’ve always been around, even when you didn’t want them to be.  We have holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas when we’re supposed to appreciate them a little bit more, but shouldn’t we do that all year long?

I have a friend who spent a non traditional Thanksgiving with her mother this year.  It was just the two of them because, as happens to all of us, the rest of her family was pulled in so many different directions that it’s hard to keep up with everyone.  She and her mother went out to eat dinner…and then went bowling.  She texted me later to let me know that it might have been the best Thanksgiving ever.   She got to spend some one-on-one time with Mom and learned a few personal things about Mom she probably didn’t know before. My friend said that she wouldn’t have gotten to know Mom better over the loud roar of Thanksgiving conversation, family catching up, and NFL Fox Sports news casts.

I learned a lesson of my own.  My family got together for the typical Thanksgiving dinner.  Everyone was eating and enjoying each other’s company….except my teenaged cousin.  She usually sits in the corner, eats dinner, and gets on her laptop.  Everyone is older than her, talking about jobs and their kids growing up and going to school.  She’ll take part in the conversation for a while,  but then goes off to do her own thing.

After I  ate, I went into the living room like I usually do to watch a lopsided football game.  I peered over at my cousin. She just looked up from her computer just long enough to catch my eye, smiled back, and went back into techno-world.  Instead of watching the game, I went to talk to her for a while. We talked about her love of Korean pop music, that she wants to go to college in Japan, and that she eventually wants to help design computer and video games.  She’s a really smart kid and she has a bright future.

Even though get-togethers sometimes seem like a bad scene from “Madea’s Family Reunion” and they get on my nerves, they are my family.  You don’t have to love your family, but I do.

Did you learn anything new about your family?  Feel free to comment.

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This post has 709 words. It will take approximately 7 minutes, 5 secondes for reading it.

It’s no secret that President Obama wants a more educated country. I think our President means what he says about wanting to overhaul education “from the cradle to a career” and has good intentions.  Obama wants to push funding for the No Child Left Behind law and make sure every child as a chance at a quality education.

Too late for that.  Just about every child was left behind a long time ago.

We’ve failed our children not because of a lack of teachers or old textbooks.  Every child can have their own tutor and brand new textbooks, but it doesn’t help if what their learning won’t help them.  The educational system we have is archaic.  It no longer serves the purpose we need it to, and the sooner we realize that, the sooner we can give our kids the education they really need.

Remember when Phys Ed was an important class?  I remember I got a “B” in Algebra, and my father lectured me for 20 minutes about the importance of math.  When I pointed out the “A” I got in Phys Ed, he responded, “Any monkey can jump around.”  It just wasn’t that important anymore.

Fast forward to now.  Can you really look at your child’s report card and see classes that will really help them when they get older?  Don’t give me that bullsh*t about having a “well-rounded” child.  I’m talking about helping your children keep up with a rapidly advancing society.

My father and I debate about this all the time.  He’s an educated man, and he always talks about the value of a good traditional education.  Math, English, Science, Social Studies.  And he’d be right if this was 1960.  But as we move forward to 2010, our kids shouldn’t be looking at those old textbooks they have and asking, “When are we going to have to use this?”  We should be asking that ourselves.

Our educational system should be focused more on technology and less on the traditional courses.  Face it, we aren’t going back to the abacus or counting on our fingers. Social studies is a joke.  You’re never going to have to count that big jar of pennies you have on your dresser.  You’ll go down to your bank or local supermarket, pour it in that big coin counting machine, take your receipt, and get your dollar bills.

There are some people who say we need the traditional education in case all the computers shut down; those are the same nuts that stocked up on bottled water, duct tape, and canned peaches and locked themselves in their basement at 11:59 pm on December 31, 1999 while I was raising my champagne glass and welcoming in a New Year (I’m still laughin’ at your dumb ass on that one).

I’d like to see more courses on internet navigation, using search engines, and social media.  These aren’t just toys teenagers use to find free porn sites and talk to each other about ex-boyfriends; they are legitimate communication tools and they’re only getting bigger.  People are text messaging business communications and using Twitter to distribute their resumes.  Fifteen years ago, did you ever think that blogging would be as big as it is now?

You would have thought we would have seen this coming.  Multi-functional minicomputers we call Blackberrys and IPhones have replaced those large mobile phones you used to have to carry in a small briefcase.  Cell phones have put public payphones out of business (I haven’t seen a payphone in a while).  I haven’t met an encyclopedia salesman in a looonnnggg time.  My point is that advancements in technology have changed the game in terms of what we need to learn.  Our educational system hasn’t changed with it.

If we don’t re-educate our kids now, we’re going to have a large group of people who aren’t qualified to do much.  Don’t get me wrong.  I know there’s always going to be a need for somewhat of  a baseline traditional education, but that’s about it.

What do you think?  Answer the poll below and feel free to express your thoughts.

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This post has 505 words. It will take approximately 5 minutes, 3 secondes for reading it.

Today is the day went most of the kids in America will dress up in costumes of their favorite characters they will only wear once, go out in their neighborhoods, and do what most consider a socially acceptable method of begging by saying “Trick or Treat!” to get  candy.  

It’s also a day when most parents will have to trust their children and begin to let go.

The other day, I found that I’m not cool enough to hang out with my son anymore.  He called me and asked me if it was ok if he went Trick or Treating with his friends instead of the old man this year.  He’s 10 now and I guess he’s beginning to feel his oats.

As much as it hurt me to say “yes”, I did.  I still remember the first time I took out.  He had on his little Spiderman costume and could barely say “Twick or Tweet”, but we got around to just about every house in the neighborhood.  After all that walking, he was too tired to even think about eating his candy and just went to sleep.

Dads, even though it’s hard sometimes we have to let our kids grow up.  The best thing you can arm them with is common sense and a set of rules to go by.  Drill these into your kids head before you let them go out.

• Give you child your cell phone (or if they have their own, make sure it’s charged).  Call them every once in a while to make sure they’re ok and that they’re staying in the neighborhood.  Let them know that if they don’t answer the phone or don’t call back right away, Trick or Treat is over and you’ll come looking  for them to make sure they’re safe.

• Establish the Trick or Treat route they are to take.  No sidestreets or unknown areas.

• Tell all of the kids to stay together as a group.  They all go on the porch, they all come off.  No one goes up alone.

• Under no circumstances is anyone to go into anyone’s house.  I don’t care if one of the kids knows the parent at the door or not.

• No candy is to be eaten while they’re out Trick or Treating. When they get home, inspect all candy with a flashlight (if there are any pins or blades, they will shine in the light).  I knew of a kid that bit into a Snickers bar while they were out and got cut up with pins.

If this is your child’s first time going out alone, let them know that this is a big step and that you are trusting them to make the right decisions while they’re out.  This will give them a sense of responsiblity.

And don’t be cheap and cut the lights out when kids come to your door.  Have a heart.

Happy Halloween.

Feel free to comment.

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