Man Among Boys

This post has 487 words. It will take approximately 4 minutes, 52 secondes for reading it.

There is an old adage in football that “speed kills.”  If you have a fast team you can do other things that other teams simply can’t.

However, I think greed kills even more.

We’ve all seen where a running back or wide receiver breaks away and a defensive back is left alone with him, coming full steam ahead.  Now the defensive back has two choices:

1. Tackle the player, wrap him up, make sure you put him down, and get your defense off the field.
2. Keep coming full steam ahead and lay a hit on him that will knock him out.

All too often I’ve seen the defensive back go for the “greed” play and try to lay the player out. That’s what would look better and make the highlights….and all too often, the offensive player just bounces off the hit and keeps on going to the end zone.

Greed kills a lot of things.  Greed can kill your “hustle” too.

I read a lot of blogs that encourage you to “go for self” and to do what works best for you.  That’s a good path to success…to a point.  Once you involve other people in your hustle (customers, partners, suppliers)  it’s not just your hustle anymore, no matter how much you may think so.  You may have control and be responsible for the decision making, but you have to take other people into consideration.  If you get too greedy and people think you aren’t looking out for them, they begin to look our for themselves.  Things begin to break down when others think they aren’t getting their fair share or you aren’t acting in their best interest.

The key is to reinvent the process so everyone looks towards the end goal.  Everyone has to believe that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.  That recipe works in life as well.

If you’ve ever seen the 2005 film “A Beautiful Mind”, you’ll know what I’m   talking about.  There is a scene where Nash (played by Russell Crowe) and his friends are in a bar trying to get at the prettiest girl in the place.  They almost get to be like crabs in a barrel, each man downing the next in front of her.  As you can guess, none of them get her attention.  Nash realized that by being greedy and looking out only for ones self would lead only to short term gain.  For lasting success, you have to get buy-in from others, and you only do that by putting others’ interest on par with your own.

(There has to be something to it.  It got Nash a share of the 1994 Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences.)

The moral is don’t get greedy.  As soon as you thinking only about yourself, you’ll find yourself by yourself.

Feel free to comment.

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This post has 677 words. It will take approximately 6 minutes, 46 secondes for reading it.

A man should be able to admit when someone outworks him and be motivated to do more.  I got outworked.  I got outhustled. You did too.  I don’t care who you are.

I was watching CNN while I was doing my morning cardio and they showcased a story on Steve Ortiz of Glendora, California. Pretty much your normal 17 year old high school kid…except that he gets it.  He knows how to hustle.  He found an angle and made it work for him.

He started with an old cell phone and turned that into a 2000 Porsche Boxster.  That some return on investment for your ass right there.

Basically he looked at the market, found what the demand was and kept it moving.  It’s something we can all learn from.  He started with an old cell phone and used the bartering section on Craigslist to get a better cell phone.  Then he traded that cell phone for an IPad.  An Ipad for a dirtbike.  Dirtbike for a Mac Book Pro, and on and on.  After two years and 14 trades, he finally got a Porsche.

Wow.  I have to admit that’s an angle I hadn’t thought of, using Craigslist that way.  The way he did it is like buying penny stocks until you get enough to buy on the Exchange.  Hats off to him.  He admits it wasn’t easy but he talked about a few things that you need to have to make this, or any hustle work:

(Note: He didn’t say some of these things directly, but you could pull them from the teenage language; after all, he’s still 17. He may not even know what he did, but he had the gumption to do it)

• Vision – he knew he didn’t want an old cell phone. It was a starting point, and he knew that if he worked hard enough he could do better. He had the vision to see that there was potential and there could me more.
• Perseverance – Ortiz openly admits that it wasn’t easy.  It took 2 hours a day of scouring Craigslist for potential trade partners.  It took 14 trades and two years to get to the Porsche.  He probably heard “you’re crazy” a lot and got rejected.  That didn’t seem to deter him.  The young man kept going.
• Managing Up – This is a key one that we can use in any business transaction.  “Managing Up” means to control a situation even though you may not be in a dominant position (ex – trying to get something from your boss).  You won’t always be in a position of strength but you have to always appear that you are.  Present your product as the best option, whatever it is, and try to make it seem like it was their idea.  Don’t automatically concede to the other party just because they have something you want.  When Ortiz traded that old cell phone for a newer model, he wasn’t in a position of strength.  Who wants an old cell phone?  But he got the deal done.
• Your Word Is Your Bond – Don’t say something that you’re not willing to do.  You’ll get a bad reputation and people will see through you.  If you say that this is your final offer, don’t make another one after it.  If you say that they have to increase their offer or you’ll walk away, and they don’t increase the offer, walk away.  Otherwise, people will take what you say as empty words and will never take you seriously.

I know I’ve learned a few things.  If a 17 year old could do this with an old cell phone, just think of what someone with some experience and motivation could do.

I think I’m going to start hitting Craigslist myself.  I have a some old business suits and an old surround stereo that I’m not using anymore. I’ll be living in a mansion in the hills in no time.

Feel free to comment.

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This post has 302 words. It will take approximately 3 minutes, 1 seconde for reading it.

I’m not broke enough.  I can’t be.

I was reading an article today on MSN.com that talked about 10 self made billionaires that went from rags to riches.

The meat of the article focused on Guy Laiberte, the creator and founder of Cirque du Solei.  He’s paid out the rectum now since his product was bought by Steve Wynn in 1991, but before that, he was a street performer in Europe and Canada.  In 1987, he took his act on the road, relocating from Quebec to Los Angeles in search of his fortune. Win or lose, he was going for it.  If he lost, he wouldn’t have gas money to get home.

But he took a chance.

I say that because I haven’t taken many chances lately.  I’m still adjusting to my new life and position here, but I still could be doing more.  Maybe I’m getting comfortable.  Maybe I’m not broke enough.

Being broke will keep your eye on the ball.  When you’re broke, you calculate every move and count every dollar because you don’t have a lot of room for error.  No one likes to be broke.  Being broke limits your options.  You have to work; you have to budget.

Being broke is also a great motivator.  Being broke can be a positive when you need a good kick in the ass.    Being broke can make you look at an old situation in a whole new light.  Being broke makes you create and execute.  You have to think, plan, and deduce.  You have to grind and hustle.  You have no where to go but up because you’re already at the bottom.

Being broke can be a great thing…as long as you don’t want to be.

Feel free to comment.

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This post has 500 words. It will take approximately 5 minutes for reading it.

A mark of a man is to know his limitations and to seek help when you need it.  Very few men can be master to all things (that’s a curse a few of us bear, but I’ve learned to deal with it).  The best course of action is to become a subject matter expert (SME) in a few things, outsource what you can’t do, and move on.

This applies to sports too, which is why I don’t understand why Milwaukee Brewers owner Mark Attanasio is so upset with the New York Yankees.  Basically, he’s cryin’ like a lil’ b*tch because the Yankees have enough money to buy free agents to build a championship team instead of the old fashioned way.   Nevermind that the rest of MLB gets a cut through revenue sharing, he’s still complaining.

The Yankees know their limitations.  They also know their strength, basically outbidding everyone else for players.  Even if the Yankees are just using their wallets to buy a championship instead of good coaching and managing, my question is: who gives a sh*t?

New York Yankees president Randy Levine is basically using a tried and true business credo, “buy, not build.”  Why build something if you can pay or it and get it faster, especially if it’s outside of your area of expertise?  Yankees management isn’t the best in the game (there really not that good), but the team can afford to buy the best players.  None of the championship trophies they have say “Purchased in …”  and no one would care if they did. The Yankees are SMEs in check writing.

Milwaukee Brewers owner Mark Attanasio was also complaining that it wasn’t fair that the Yankees could spend more than other teams and that he couldn’t afford to keep up with them (almost sounds like a Freudian penis envy thing).  The Yankees’ payroll is expected to be about $200 million this year; the Brewers’ will be in the $80 million range.  Tough t*ttie for ya broke ass, get a training bra.  If the Yankees spend-and-spend-again plan doesn’t pan out, will you and the rest of the league pony up to give the Yankees some money back?  Didn’t think so.  Stop crying about things you can’t control.  Maybe you should have thought about that before setting up shop in Milwaukee.

(Note: No disrespect to anyone in Milwaukee, but I’ve been there.  I put that on the same plane as Cleveland.  It’s a third tier city.  And Wisconsin cheese isn’t even that good.)

Attanasio, you need to man up and stop crying.  Maybe if you focused on developing your players, your team wouldn’t suck.  You let CC Sabathia walk out the door.  You could have given him a bigger contract, but you didn’t want to.  The Yankees did.  As the saying goes, “can’t ball, don’t play.”

I hate it when dudes start crying.

Feel free to comment.

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This post has 501 words. It will take approximately 5 minutes for reading it.

I went out to have a few drinks with an old friend. I hadn’t seen him in a while so it was good to catch up.  We laughed and joked for a while, and I noticed there was a difference in him.  He seemed happier, lost weight, and had a bounce in his step.  He was even growing his hair back.

(Note: Love you man, but don’t drink pinot grigio with me at a bar again.  Just doesn’t sit right with.  I’m drinking vodka and you got “wine”.  Nah man)

When I mentioned this to him and asked what he’d done (I could use some happiness right now), he said that he finally realized it was his world and that everyone else was living in it.  The funny thing is that he wasn’t kidding. He really means that.

He explained that he is having fun enjoying his life. What other people are doing doesn’t matter; in fact THEY don’t matter.  As far as he’s concerned, he’s the center of the universe.  When he’s out with others, other people aren’t having fun for themselves; they are having fun watching him enjoy his life.  The entire concept revolves around him.  It really is all about him.

Is this self-centered? Yep…and it works.

He explained to me that if it’s “your world”, you’re always in control.  If someone tries to do something to you, you allow that to happen.  If someone chooses to leave you, f*ck em’.  They were only having fun watching your enjoy your life; it’s their loss and they miss all the enjoyment of celebrating your life with you.

If you think about it, it makes sense, and it’s a concept that toddlers know all too well.  A two-year-old thinks it’s all about them.  They’ll give up a toy when they want to.  If you want to play with them, they’ll let you until they get bored with you and walk away; whether or not you were having fun doesn’t count.

It’s also a concept many successful people carry with them.  Donald Trump, Russell Simmons, Bill Gates. No matter how much they give to charity or say they give to their fellow man, they’re selfish and driven.  They don’t really care what you think or have to say. They’ll do what they think is right even if everyone else thinks otherwise. If you want to come along for the ride and reap the benefits, fine, but if you don’t, “one monkey don’t stop the show.”  They’ll continue to move forward.

I told him I was going to blog about this and see what my readers think. He said he really didn’t care what they thought. It’s what he thinks that counts.

And I guess that’s all that really matters isn’t it?

Feel free to comment.

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This post has 831 words. It will take approximately 8 minutes, 18 secondes for reading it.

I was watching a report on ESPN about Antoine Walker, former NBA player and All-Star.  It was a sad story, really.  Life was supposed to be sweet for a 13 year veteran who made over $110 million in salary and millions more in endorsements.  You’re supposed to be able to live off that for the rest of your life.

You’re not supposed to be bouncing millions in checks to casinos and getting taken to court to settle $7 million debts. You’re not supposed to be getting taken to court by your tenants for being a slum lord not able to afford to keep up properties.  You’re not supposed to be on the brink of bankruptcy if you make $110 million. On average, that was over $8.4 million a year for Walker.  You had to mess up awfully bad to have nothing after making $8.4 million a year.

It’s always amazed me how high profile, wealthy people can be in a position to have nothing.  Walker supposedly was a very street savvy and book smart guy. He should have known better.  But I guess it can happen to anyone if they are suddenly thrust into the spotlight with millions of dollars.   “How To Manage New Money for Dummies” hasn’t come out yet, but maybe I should jump on that.

I’d start with an old Lauryn Hill lyric: “It ain’t about what you cop.  It’s about what you keep.”  (note: I miss Lauryn Hill. Lauryn, get on some Lexapro, Prozac, or something, get your head right, and come back to save music.  We need you).  Think of it this way:  If you make $5 million a year, but are spending $5 million and 1 dollars a year, you’re broke.  Then I’d continue with…

Cut Off The Leeches

Walker is a very kind heart according to the report and couldn’t say no to anyone.  Whether part of that was ego and part was sincere, only the Lord knows, but buying houses and diamond watches for family you barely know and friends that just came around to say hi is stupid.  Those are called leeches.  They only want you because you have a fat wallet. Don’t let your ego get the best of you.  Cut them off and move on.  I don’t care if I have $20 in my pocket, you won’t get bus fare if we don’t talk on a regular basis.  It just beez like that…

Stick With Your Own Kind

By kind, I mean those in your tax bracket.  Look up to those doing better than you, but don’t try to spend like them.  Walker was reportedly hanging out and gambling with Michael Jordan, making $1000 bets at the blackjack table into the wee hours of the morning.  The only problem is that Walker’s money isn’t a long as Jordan’s. It doesn’t stretch that far.  $100 million is a lot of money, but combining that with a gambling habit and trying to “keep up with the Jordan’s” will get you broke in a minute.

Defer To The Experts But Be Hands On

You’ll have business managers, managers who managers, accountants, and real estate advisers, but remember they all report to YOU because you’re cutting the check.  Be hands on.  Anyone who works for you will gladly teach you how they do things if you threaten to pull your business if they don’t.  Only a fool wouldn’t question what they do and give total control over to anyone else.  I remember reading that even when Oprah was raking in hundreds of millions (she doesn’t need a last name now; you know who she is), she was still signing her checks personally so she knew where her money was going.  She kept on top of her game, and that’s why she’s where she is.

Exercise Restraint

There’s nothing wrong with having fun and spending money, but don’t be excessive.  Do you really need those new Louie V loafers and Coach purses?  How often will you use them?  Do you really need to have all those cars? You’ve got 5 cars but 1 ass to sit on.  It woudl be smarter to put aside some money for yourself and use the rest to save and pay bills…which brings me to

Pay Yourself FIRST

Treat yourself like a bill and step up an automatic withdrawal to put a little away every payday. I don’t care if it’s $25 ever two weeks.  At the end of a year, that’s $650, which can be a nice little vacation for you if you plan.

I’m no financial guru.  I don’t know all of the in’s and out’s of the financial sector. What I do know though is common sense.  Just use your head for something other than a hat rack and you’ll be OK.  And pay your taxes.  Man up.

Feel free to comment.

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This post has 694 words. It will take approximately 6 minutes, 56 secondes for reading it.

I was reading a post called “11 Things Women Wish Men Knew During Sex” on a site called Yeahshesaidit.com (very interesting stuff) which inspired me to write this.  I’m tired of hearing what the women want.  Who rides for the fellas?  Me, that’s who.  So here goes…but of course, with  TrueMan twist…

————————————————

What We Wish Women Would Do

1.  Act Like You’re In College Again

In college, you met some of the freakiest chicks you ever laid eyes on.  Down to do anything. Whether it was their new-found freedom or the cheap alcohol (do they still sell Everclear?), a college chick in your dorm room after midnight meant you’d have a very good evening.

Now all of a sudden, she’s too “mature” to do that stuff and has standards.  Are you kidding me?  Remember the 50 yard line on the football field the night of the homecoming game?  Where did that little sex kitten go?

2.  Ditch The Sweat Pants

A nice teddy or silk nightie every once in a while really get a man’s attention.  Wearing my sweatpants to bed with an oversized t-shirt and a headwrap does not.  Get some better bedroom attire.  We have heat in the house and will turn it up if it will get her into some lace.

3.  Face Down, Ass Up

I don’t know a guy that doesn’t have this one in his top 2.  Luke (formerly Luke Skyywalker) of the famed 2 Live Crew had it right.  I actually like the missionary and “female dominate” positions where you face your partner for a kiss or two, but if you really wanna get it in, bend over and touch your toes.

4.  Yes, Her Voice Can Be Annoying

We LOVE to hear our name screamed out loud, but if you sound like Olive Oil or Charlie Brown’s schoolteacher, keep quiet.  That can totally wreck the mood, rhythm, or even…let’s call it “erectness”.  I’ve actually started laughing at times.

5.  Cuddle Ya Damn Pillow

I’m all for a little snuggle time after sex (has to be good sex though), but that hug-me-all-night-like-you’re-a-5-year-old-afraid-of-the-dark thing is out.  The reason?  I CAN”T SLEEP with someone squeezing all the air out of my lungs.  A little while is OK, but eventually, roll ya ass over so you don’t snore in my face and go to sleep.  We both gotta go to work tomorrow.

6.  “Soap and Water…A Toothbrush and A Comb”

Like the song on that old Fat Albert episode, hygiene is important to the fellas too.  Don’t bring yourself in bed with that Summer’s Eve “I just don’t feel…fresh” stuff and expect me not to call you out on it.  Yes, that does matter to us.

————————————————

Stuff We Really Don’t Care About

1.  Matching Bra and Panties

When I’m thinking about sex, I can guarantee you,  the last thing I’m thinking is, “If she has that red bra on with those cream panties on again…nah, I can’t do that.”  I don’t give a sh*t.  If you’re standing there in front of us long enough to notice if you bra and panties match, we’ve done something wrong.  They’re supposed to be “off and over there” if we get to that point.

2.  If We’re Getting Along At That Moment

This applies 95% of the time. If we’re in a heated war of words and you start throwing things, I’m not think about sex either.  That being said, men consider most minor to medium level arguments to be separate from our sex lives.

If we could determine who’s right by an all-night-bedroom-romp-lasts-longest-contest (or living room or kitchen..you get the picture), just sound the bell and let’s get it on.  Why do you think there’s “make up sex”? Fighting and sex are not mutually exclusive.

————————————-

We have to take a stand as men and let the ladies know what WE want.  If you have anything you want to add, let your voice be heard.

Ladies…I hope this was helpful.

Feel free to comment.

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This post has 388 words. It will take approximately 3 minutes, 52 secondes for reading it.

In a previous post, “Two Weeks Notice“, I told you that I can help you develop a positive habit in two weeks.

Now I’m going to tell you that I can change your short term focus in five minutes.

Before, I mentioned that I was reading a book by Marshall Goldsmith called “Mojo: How To Get It, How To Keep It, How To Get It Back If You Lose It”.  When I read something worthwhile, I like to share.  Even though the book focuses on getting your swagger back for the long term, he also talks about how important it is to have it in the short term.  The “short term” is often neglected in a lot of publications, so I thought this was interesting.

Goldsmith goes on to say that the best indicator of what you will be doing in the short term is what you are doing right now.  I mean right now.  This very second.  As in right now, you are reading (and hopefully enjoying) my blog.

Five minutes from now, you’ll probably be sitting here on the Internet.  And five minutes after that, and five minutes after that.  So you can see how this becomes a chain.  Your short term focus can be broken down into five minute increments.

This time yesterday, you were probably doing whatever you’re doing now.  You probably sit down in the same spot on the same couch and watch the same programs on the same day at the same hour.  We’re creatures of habit.  Whether or not those habits add value or not remains to be seen.  You can see how five minutes adds up.

If something isn’t adding value, including reading my blog, you need to get up right now.  Right now.  I’d rather you go and do something productive than waste you time on something you don’t think will help you.  You need to change what you’re doing right now because you’ll probably be doing this for the foreseeable future.  Do something that adds value to you and provides direction to where you want to go.

Like I said all I need is five minutes.  That should be all you need too.  Let’s see what you’re doing in the next five minutes.

Feel free to comment.

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This post has 426 words. It will take approximately 4 minutes, 15 secondes for reading it.

A man can be inspired by a lot of things.  You never know what.  It can be a sunset, a billboard…or even the actions of a little girl.

If you’ve been watching the news lately, you know that the North Eastern states have been getting their collective asses kicked by Mother Nature. Last week, the region got over 24 inches of snow and right now, it’s getting another 24.  It’s been brutal with blankets of white coming with cold, harsh winds.

I spent part of the afternoon shoveling my car out in the blizzard; if you wait too long, the snow freezes, and you’re shoveling heavy blocks of white ice. I’d been out there for about a half hour when a little girl approached me with her own little shovel and starts digging right beside me.  She couldn’t be any older than six.  I turned to her and smiled as she swung her shovel back and forth.  She made more of a mess than anything, but she tried as hard as she could.

We’d been digging for about 10 minutes before her mother called to her to come inside. She yelled back, “Mom, I’m helping the man shovel snow.  I’ll be in in a minute.”  I turned to tell her that she should listen to her mother and go inside.

“Mister, you sure you’ll be ok with out me?  It’s a lot of snow.”

“Yes,” I chuckled,”I’ll be fine.  And thank you.”

She threw her shovel over her shoulder after a hard 10 minutes’ work and left.  But she did more work than I did all day.  Because it was genuine.  All she wanted to do was help.  She didn’t want anything for it. I offered her a few bucks as she left but she said she was just glad to help.

And as they say a good deed in infectious.  After I finished with my car, I walked over to another guy who was shoveling and helped him.  And then he in turn went to help someone else.

That little girl’s actions inspired me to help someone else.   It also made me think of why I started this blog: to tell my story and to help other people where I can.  If I can help someone be a better man, that’s a good thing.

Maybe there are some good people out there after all.  It’s sad that most of them are probably still in the first grade.

Feel free to comment.

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This post has 109 words. It will take approximately 1 minute, 5 secondes for reading it.

Afternoon, Man Among Boys readers.  Instead of giving you a blog today, I want to tell you about a new collaboration called Block Standard (www.blockstandard.com).

Block Standard is a collective of like-minded and like mission men who decided to pool their individual insights into one blog for the immediate dissemination of information that enables you to improve your money-making capabilities. You’re going to get a lot of different views from different people from a lot of different angles, each building on the other.

The goal is to empower you with knowledge.  What you do with it is completely up to you.

Block Standard…“Redefine Your Corner”

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