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Archive for the ‘Success’ Category

Greed Kills

Posted by TrueMan On August - 28 - 2010

This post has 487 words. It will take approximately 4 minutes, 52 secondes for reading it.

There is an old adage in football that “speed kills.”  If you have a fast team you can do other things that other teams simply can’t.

However, I think greed kills even more.

We’ve all seen where a running back or wide receiver breaks away and a defensive back is left alone with him, coming full steam ahead.  Now the defensive back has two choices:

  1. Tackle the player, wrap him up, make sure you put him down, and get your defense off the field.
  2. Keep coming full steam ahead and lay a hit on him that will knock him out.

All too often I’ve seen the defensive back go for the “greed” play and try to lay the player out. That’s what would look better and make the highlights….and all too often, the offensive player just bounces off the hit and keeps on going to the end zone.

Greed kills a lot of things.  Greed can kill your “hustle” too.

I read a lot of blogs that encourage you to “go for self” and to do what works best for you.  That’s a good path to success…to a point.  Once you involve other people in your hustle (customers, partners, suppliers)  it’s not just your hustle anymore, no matter how much you may think so.  You may have control and be responsible for the decision making, but you have to take other people into consideration.  If you get too greedy and people think you aren’t looking out for them, they begin to look our for themselves.  Things begin to break down when others think they aren’t getting their fair share or you aren’t acting in their best interest.

The key is to reinvent the process so everyone looks towards the end goal.  Everyone has to believe that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.  That recipe works in life as well.

If you’ve ever seen the 2005 film “A Beautiful Mind”, you’ll know what I’m   talking about.  There is a scene where Nash (played by Russell Crowe) and his friends are in a bar trying to get at the prettiest girl in the place.  They almost get to be like crabs in a barrel, each man downing the next in front of her.  As you can guess, none of them get her attention.  Nash realized that by being greedy and looking out only for ones self would lead only to short term gain.  For lasting success, you have to get buy-in from others, and you only do that by putting others’ interest on par with your own.

(There has to be something to it.  It got Nash a share of the 1994 Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences.)

The moral is don’t get greedy.  As soon as you thinking only about yourself, you’ll find yourself by yourself.

Feel free to comment.

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The Ghost Who Walks

Posted by TrueMan On August - 26 - 2010

This post has 394 words. It will take approximately 3 minutes, 56 secondes for reading it.

When I was a kid, I loved ripping through the Sunday comics (some papers don’t even have that anymore).  One of my favorite comics was “The Phantom”, who the natives called “The Ghost Who Walks.”  The Phantom started as a young boy named Christopher Walker, the only survivor of a pirate attack that was washed ashore on a Bengallan beach.  He swore an oath on the skull of his father’s killer to dedicate his life to the destruction of piracy and to be a hero for good with his sons and their sons to follow him. Making a costume based on the image of an old jungle idol, he became the Phantom. When he died, his son took over the role of the Phantom, and “The Phantom” was passed down generation after generation, leaving people to him the name “The Ghost Who Walks”, believing him to be immortal.

(Note:  Now I’m not here to debate how The Phantom had sons since there was no female love interest, what kind of dude walks around the jungle in purple spandex, how the costume never got tattered and lasted hundreds of years, or why a white guy had to swoop into the dark jungle to civilize the savages.  I’m just trying to make point.  Stay with me on this one.)

Now, no one with half an ounce of brain thought The Phantom was immortal, but what was more important is what he stood for.  The Phantom was a symbol, a legacy, something that would last past his natural life time.  Tales of his deeds would last long beyond his years.

Can you say the same?  Will people be talking about what you did long after you are gone?

Your life is finite, but what you do with your life defines how you live on.  The New York Yankees are a perfect example. As I wrote in another post (“Let’s Hear It For New York”), George Steinbrenner died, but his legacy through the Yankees will live on.  Love him or hate him, you know his legacy, and unless you’re a Sox fan, probably had a NYY ball cap at one time or another.

What we do in life determines how we’re remembered.  Our deeds will outlive our days.

Will you be remembered as a “Ghost Who Walks”?

Feel free to comment.

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Religious Freedom Stops At Pennsylvania Avenue?

Posted by TrueMan On August - 20 - 2010

This post has 473 words. It will take approximately 4 minutes, 43 secondes for reading it.

Don’t tell me we can’t work together because you’re a Christian and I’m a Muslim.  Hungry is hungry, and hungry doesn’t give a damn what your religion is – Minister Louis Farrakhan

One of the marks of being a man is being able to set aside differences for the greater good and focus on what’s important. We may not always agree, but we can co-exist.  That’s one on the hallmarks of this great nation of ours.  So I’m asking myself why the President’s religion is so important.

People are really making a big deal out of this because the President said that Muslim worshipers should be able to build their mosque two blocks from Ground Zero.  He said the government doesn’t have the right to dictate what religion does as long as they are within the law.

(Note: …and Obama’s right about that one.  They legally have the right to and they have the land to build it.  If the Jewish wanted to build a synagogue there and they own the land, mazel tov.  If Catholics wanted to build a church there and they owned the land, they can do that little sprinkle, sprinkle baptism thing they do all day long.  But I digress…)

Some people are using that an excuse to say that Obama’s muslim, which he isn’t.  He’s Christian.  The White House is coming out with releases saying that the President goes to church, abides by the Ten Commandments, and knows the New Testament front and back.  I’m saying they shouldn’t have to.

If Obama came out tomorrow and said that he was Muslim and chose to pray to the East five times a day…so f*cking what??? Does that effect his ability to do his job?  Does that effect his ability to lead the nation?  Does that hinder his ability to move us out of this depression we’re in?

Remember, George Bush is Christian, and he didn’t exactly lead us to the land of milk and honey.

We’re supposed to have freedom of religion in this country.  That’s one of the reasons the Revolutionary War was fought, to be free from oppression.  I’m not arguing if Obama is or isn’t Muslim; I’m arguing that you shouldn’t care.  Religious freedom shouldn’t stop at the White House steps.

You should care that he’s doing his job.  If you want him out because you think he’s making our standard living worse, I can respect that.  If you want him out because you think the reads he Koran instead of the Bible, you need to have your head checked.

I just want him to bring our boys home and lower my damn taxes.

Feel free to comment.

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Let’s Hear It For New York….

Posted by TrueMan On July - 17 - 2010

This post has 530 words. It will take approximately 5 minutes, 18 secondes for reading it.

You may not have heard or even care, but Yankees owner George Steinbrenner died this week.  He was 80 years old.  Whether you like him or not, or even you don’t even like baseball, he’s had an impact on your life…

Ever hear of the Yankees?

Steinbrenner took a club that was struggling in 1973 and turned it into a powerhouse .  Nicknamed “The Boss”, he pushed and shoved until he got his team to the forefront of the sport, making it to the World Series 10 times and winning three championships from 1998 – 2000.  He also created a business model that we can follow today, not only in our professional lives, but our personal lives as well.  There are some pretty effective, yet simple, rules…

  • Winning Trumps All – Steinbrenner wanted to win at all costs, and he didn’t care who knew it.  He was often quoted as saying, “Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing.  Breathing first, winning next.”  Second place wasn’t good enough.  He wiped his ass with pennants (regular season division championships) that other teams would kill for.  Only World Championships mattered.  Steinbrenner wanted to win more than anything, and if you worked for him, you’d better too, or else he would…
  • Change People – Steinbrenner seemed to live by a quote that I once read from Jack Welsh, former CEO of General Electric: “Change people…or change people.”  (If you haven’t read Welsh’s book, “Winning”, you’re missing the point).  Work with those you can change, but if you can’t change them, get rid of them.  Steinbrenner  changed managers nearly 24 times and gave the ax to more than a dozen general managers.  Managers names should have been written on their door in pencil.  If you didn’t produce, you knew you were gone.
  • Pay For The Best – I’ve blogged before about the Yankees “buy-not-build” philosophy before.  Hey it works.  Steinbrenner was notorious from prying the best players from their teams by opening his checkbook.  Alex Rodriguez, CC Sabathia, and countless others.  If you see the best and know it will make you successful, you’re going to have to pay for it.  Don’t be afraid to.
  • Stay Ahead Of The Curve – At a time when most clubs were thinking how to sell more hot dogs and baseball caps, Stenibrenner negotiated a huge cable television contract, 12 years, $486 million…in 1988.   When others moved onto TV contracts, he started the Yankees own YES network.  The Yankees are now worth more than 100 times what he paid, in large part because he saw what others couldn’t see and stayed ahead of the curve.
  • Transcend The Game – Steinbrenner knew that to be successful at the game, he had to stand above it.  Like Ali in his boxing career, he became bigger than the sport of baseball, building his brand along the way.  Even if you didn’t like baseball, you knew who the Yankees were.  Love him or hate him, you knew his personal brand.

Follow the rules and you’ll be successful and navigate your own ship…but you’ll never be “The Boss”

R.I.P George Steinbrenner.   Feel free to comment.

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Getting Soft In The Middle

Posted by TrueMan On May - 13 - 2010

This post has 580 words. It will take approximately 5 minutes, 48 secondes for reading it.

I’m getting older.  That’s just a fact of life.  Things are changing.  As I’m getting older though, I’m realizing that my main battle is to make sure I don’t get “soft in the middle.”  It’s all a battle that we fight from time to time.  We get older, we get a little more lax in some things.  We tend to let some things go.  You might have a few more cookies before bedtime.  It’s easy to get caught up in a carefree lifestyle if you let yourself go.

I’m enjoying the sunshine, kicking back and relaxing.  Just letting life breeze by a bit.  I think I’m starting to get a little “soft in the middle”.

I’m not talking about physical weight though (ya boy stays in the gym 5-6 times a week).  I’m talking about getting soft in the “gut”.  Your source of power, desire, soul, inner being, or whatever you want to call it.  I’m taking about letting your passion go because you’re achieving some perceived level of success or because you have others to do work for you.

Getting soft…getting content…getting “fat and happy.”

It’s easy to get “soft” as we get older.  We move up into mid level or senior management positions and manage people underneath people underneath people, whether we work in the corporate world or for ourselves.  We delegate rather than get involved.  We feel that we don’t need to address certain things because we think it’s just not worth the effort or because we think it’s beneath us.  We use the mask of looking at the “big picture” as a reason not to get our hands dirty.

You have to get involved at the ground level every once in a while, no matter what you do.  It keeps you grounded.  It keeps you “in the street” and close to the action.  It keeps your finger on the pulse of what’s going on.  I remember reading about that in Russell Simmons’ book “Do You!: 12 Laws to Access the Power in You to Achieve Happiness and Success” (I already told you about that book; if you haven’t gotten it yet, you’re missing out).  There’s a reason that whatever he does or designs reflects the latest trends and that he’s successful at it; he stays in the “street”.  He routinely gets involved at the ground level so he’s aware of what’s going on. That invigorates and gives insight on what the next “big thing” will be.  How can you make decisions if you don’t know what you’re making decisions on?  How can you keep your desire going if you’re not close to the action?

Success is usually reflective of the hard work put into something, but it’s easy to let that success dilute the drive that got you there in the first place.  So step out of your ivory tower and get out there.  Spend some time at in the “street” or at the base of whatever operation you have.  Put some work in today.  Keep your ear to the ground and find something that drives and motivates you to do more.

You might want to run a few laps around the track while you’re at it.  Put the hot dog down and get on a stairmaster.  Just sayin’, wouldn’t hurt…

Feel free to comment.

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To The Rescue…Again

Posted by TrueMan On April - 23 - 2010

This post has 323 words. It will take approximately 3 minutes, 13 secondes for reading it.

I overheard a conversation the other day that caused me to write this.

Two young guys, maybe mid-twenties were talking about their plans for the evening.  One was having a young lady over and was talking about “setting the mood.”  He mentioned he was going to have some candles and soft music, which I admit is a good look.  But then he mentioned he was going to play some Trey Songz “Neighbors Know My Name” to get the jump off…well, jumped off.

That made me shake my head.

I don’t listen to too much R+B nowadays (except Robin Thicke’s new album; that white boy’s a bad cat).  Honestly, Trey Songz can be put in the “Just Not Manly” category.  A man shouldn’t have to brag on his pipe game that much; if you’re good enough, she’ll do it for you.

Let me give you something to play for her. It’s an old school song, even a bit old for me, but you can’t go wrong with this one.  Talk to you parents and grandparents about some love songs and you’ll get some good ones.  This one is a live performance, so please forgive the leather pants and tight, Euro type shirts.  That was the style back then, I guess.

(Note: You’ll  know it’s old school because he says “I watched television, until television went off.”  Do you remember when it went off?  Around 2am, all you got was static.)

Fellas, if you can’t get it started with this, I don’t know what to tell you.  Maybe it’s your cologne.

Here’s a hint:  Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Ohhhhhhhh…

Watch, enjoy, and feel free to comment.

…and here’s part 2..

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If It Don’t Fit, Don’t Force It

Posted by TrueMan On March - 24 - 2010

This post has 535 words. It will take approximately 5 minutes, 21 secondes for reading it.

Today we’re going to talk a little bit about “motivational fit.”  Basically it’s how well a person and a certain job or situation are suited to one another and how well people mesh in the overall environment.  You can apply this concept to your work, entrepreneurial endeavors, or your love life.

Too often we try to make things fit where they don’t.  Who knows or cares how or why things fall apart; they just do.  You have to recognize when that happens, man up, and decide whether or not you’ll stick around.  It’s not always easy, and it’s not meant to be.  Staying on the straight and narrow is a tough business, but you d0 what you’ve gotta do.

An example of this is my work with Blockstandard.com.  It’s a collaboration of individuals who wanted to pool thoughts and resources to empower others.  It’s a great concept.  However, we all didn’t have the right motivational fit.  We seemed to have different ideas of where we wanted to be and were going in all sorts of different directions, from marketing to what the focus should be to how to present that focus.   Eventually, I decided to leave the group.

Does that mean they’re bad guys who don’t know what they’re doing?  Quite the opposite.  Pledger, CZA, and Booker are all young lions with a bright future.  I wouldn’t be surprised if we were all reading about them some day doing big things.  I still read their work often for tips and insight on how to improve what I’m doing.

Just because you don’t see eye to eye and even part company doesn’t mean you have to hate and badmouth each other; that would be acting like a lil’ b*tch.  If you don’t see eye to eye, it just means that right now you’re not the right fit.  I’d go back to working with those guys in a New York minute if we could get it right.

Recognize if you’re the right fit or face dire consequences.  It can effect your money, health, and reputation.  I often hear people say that something isn’t the right fit but they’re “going down with the ship.”  That’s some bullsh*t and they’re idiots.  If you don’t feel that you’re the right fit, get off the ship as soon as possible.  That’s resources and time you could be focusing on the right fit for you.  There were a lot of dumb asses that wanted to go down with the Titanic too; they died.  Get the picture?

There’s nothing wrong with saying something isn’t working when it isn’t.  What’s wrong is not being true to y0urself and others that depend on you to give your all when you’re heart isn’t in it.

You can’t fit a round peg in a square hole.  If something isn’t working, say so and bow out gracefully.  That will save everybody a lot of unnecessary drama in the end.

Man ya punk ass up.  Feel free to comment.

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Necessary Evil

Posted by TrueMan On March - 12 - 2010

This post has 628 words. It will take approximately 6 minutes, 16 secondes for reading it.

“And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall.” – Jack Nicholson as Col. Jessep in “A Few Good Men”

There were four words uttered by golfers on the PGA tour in the past few days…

“Oh, sh*t…he’s back.”

It was reported by ESPN that Eldrick “Tiger” Woods will probably return to golf at the Arnold Palmer Invitational in about two weeks.  He’ll have his share of hecklers, people spitting at him, and womens’ rights groups in an uproar (who gives a sh*t?).  But golf needs him.  It needs him badly.  Viewership and attendance has been down since Tiger took his leave of absence.  Basically, nobody cares to see second tier players on the course.  Say what you want about Tiger, but he is golf.  The PGA and sponsors (Nike kept him without blinking) will welcome him back with open arms and fat checks, no matter how many holes he putted his balls in.

(Note: In my opinion, he got some on the side.  BFD.  The only issue I had with it is how he did it.  See my “Something On The Side – Part 2” post.)

You always need your best guys to play.  No matter what you think about them, no matter how you feel about them, when it comes down to grits and groceries, you want them on your side.  Golf is no different.  Hell, life is no different.  Tiger is a necessary evil to golf, just like Col. Jessup was in “A Few Good Men.”  You may not like him now, but he’s the best.

You’d better get used to this in life, too.  Sometimes, you have to put personal feelings aside and work with people you don’t like because they’re the best at what they do.  I do it all the time.  I work with people I think are assholes, but when I need to best, they’re who I call.  They help you win, whether it’s on a golf course, basketball court, or at a negotiating table.  It might even cost a few chips, but you know you’re getting what you pay for.  When you need to get something done, you go to the best and make it work.

I remember watching a game on Monday Night Football where the Buffalo Bills were playing, and of course the focus was on then Bills’ WR Terrell Owens.  Old senile windbag Ron Jaworski kept talking about T.O.’s issues and how he was a “team cancer” and basically questioned why the Bills got him.  His fellow broadcaster and former championship NFL coach Jon Gruden looked at him like he was nuts and responded,

“Everybody’s saying he’s a cancer.  Let me tell you what a cancer is: a cancer’s a guy who can’t play. Terrel Owens is one of the best WRs ever to play the game. Give me 10 of those.”

He realized that sometimes you have to make a “deal with the devil” to get things done.  Nothing wrong with that. Just like golf is…because they know they need Woods as much if not more than he needs them.  Elin can take half Tiger’s money and he’ll be ok;  I’m guessing he can survive on $500 million.  Golf can die quickly without Woods.

Woods is a necessary evil, just like Col. Jessup.  You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want him on that course…you need him on that course.

Feel free to comment

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BlockStandard.com

Posted by TrueMan On February - 1 - 2010

This post has 109 words. It will take approximately 1 minute, 5 secondes for reading it.

Afternoon, Man Among Boys readers.  Instead of giving you a blog today, I want to tell you about a new collaboration called Block Standard (www.blockstandard.com).

Block Standard is a collective of like-minded and like mission men who decided to pool their individual insights into one blog for the immediate dissemination of information that enables you to improve your money-making capabilities. You’re going to get a lot of different views from different people from a lot of different angles, each building on the other.

The goal is to empower you with knowledge.  What you do with it is completely up to you.

Block Standard…“Redefine Your Corner”

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Falling For The Okie Doke

Posted by TrueMan On January - 24 - 2010

This post has 840 words. It will take approximately 8 minutes, 24 secondes for reading it.

When we’re going through a bad situation or seeking help, we often look for someone to analyze our problems.  This leaves vulnerable, and we’ll listen to just about anyone that lends an ear and seems to know what they’re talking about.

That’s very dangerous.  When you’re at your lowest is when you need to hear what people are saying the most.  There are millions of snake oil salesmen out there that lack substance, but because it sounds like relieving words at a time of need, we take it as gospel.

That’s when people fall for the “okie doke.”

For those of you who don’t know what that “okie doke” is, that’s when someone gets played for a fool.  Think of all those internet scams out there that promise $1000 a day for 15 minutes work…and all you have to do is make 3 payments of $39.95 for it.  That sounds like a godsend…but if it were that easy, there wouldn’t be a broke ass on the planet.   A lot of people fall for the “okie doke” on a regular basis.

The reason I bring this up is I was listening to an urban radio station today and heard a classic example of the “okie doke”.  A psychic was on and invited people to call in and discuss their problems.  A  young woman named Trina called in to ask the psychic if she should stay with her child’s father.  She said he comes around to spend time with her and the baby, but that they don’t see eye to eye.

A slick talker would be able to take a lot out of the italicized passage and use leading questions to guide someone in the direction they want the conversation to go in, luring them into the “okie doke”.  The psychic skillfully asked  series of questions that didn’t really say much, but had Trina thinking she was the second coming….

You probably feel overwhelmed with work and taking care of the baby, right?

Uh, no sh*t.  Basically, Trina’s a single mom, and there may be no tougher job in the world than that. Unless she’s on welfare, she’s working.  I know I talk a lot of sh*t about the ladies, but I acknowledge and appreciate the hard work a single mom puts in holding down a 40 hour a week job, and then coming home to cook dinner and help the kids with homework.  She must be tough in a tough situation.

The psychic made Trina feel appreciated, like someone out there understands what she’s going through.  Whether the psychic was single and had children or not is irrelevant; she made Trina feel like she could relate and played the sympathetic friend.

The first part of the “okie doke” is to make someone feel like they are safe and can trust you; a boa constrictor always hugs its prey before squeezing it to death.

(On a Side Note:  Some of you ladies brought this upon yourselves. A lot of times, you nagged a good man to death and drove him away.  The next time you want to blame someone, look in the mirror instead of calling your girlfriends and complaining that there are no good men out there.  He wanted to help with kids with homework and make family time, but you were steady b*tchin’ about the toilet seat being up.  The toilet seat is down now, but there’s no man in sight.  Dummy.)

There were probably money issues, right?

That’s not exactly a leap of faith since money is one of, if not the, top reason couples separate, whether it be one uses it to control the other, or just that the bills and necessities aren’t being taken care of.  And we the current economic state of the country, chances are money issues would apply to Trina too.

Even though he come by to see the baby and make family time, you’re still not happy, right?

All the psychic did here is repeat what Trina first told her but in the form of a question.  She didn’t really add anything, but the way she phrased the question makes it seem like she did, kind of like the “Great Repeater” at the office, who just repeats everything everyone else says with a few gestures and some big words thrown in.

xxxxxxxxx…RIGHT?

Notice how the psychic ended each question with the word right.  She’s TELLING Trina these are the reasons for her issues, even if they aren’t.  Right isn’t used to confirm, but to control.  For someone already having troubles, hearing that this is right is like finding the cause to your problems…even though they are something all together different.

After Trina hung up, I’m sure she felt like she had the source of all her problems…but she really didn’t get much help.

That’s the “okie doke” for you.  Feel free to comment.

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I might be the last of my kind...a man. I am a man among boys, and I dedicated this site to men everywhere as a place where we can be men, without apology or fear. Time to man up, fellas.

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