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I had an interesting situation this weekend.
I was spending time with the old lady, kicking back and watching TV. Now she has an issue with my Blackberry. Sometimes it goes off late at night. It might be an email from my credit card company with a “friendly reminder” that a payment is coming due or from an old friend that lives out of state that just wants to say “hey”, some male, some female. We’ve had conversations about this before about what are deemed to be “appropriate” call and text times….which frankly buggs the hell out of me. I’m a grown assed man. You don’t tell me when a friend can or can’t text me.
Anyway, this weekend, I just wasn’t in the mood to talk, so I decided to turn my Blackberry off.
“Why you turning your phone off?”
“I don’t feel like talking to anyone.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
This proceeded to turn into an argument about how I’m keeping her in a box because she really hasn’t met my friends and I’m shady for turning my phone off.
Honestly, she hasn’t met many people I know. We have quite a few mutual friends we’ve known, but other than them, I don’t know many. A woman will have hundreds of friends, ranging from people she might run into every ten years to old friends she’s known since the second grade. A man as about 3, maybe 4 people he calls “friends”. And if we haven’t talked within the last year, don’t try to hit me up on Facebook with a friend request. You will get ignored without so much as an afterthought.
I’ve got 4, and none of them within what most consider a reasonable distance. My closest friend lives a little over an hour or so away. The others live out of state. We’ve tried to make arrangements to get together but haven’t been able to coordinate schedules. When I’m not with her or my son, I can be found at the gym or work. I have a very uneventful life.
I was told I’m “shady” and it isn’t the first time I’ve heard that. I’ve been accused of doing things I’m not.
There’s an old saying “If you keep knocking on the devil’s door, eventually, he’ll answer you.” If you keep poking a dog with a stick, eventually, he’ll bit your ass. If you keep accusing a man of cheating, eventually, he will (not saying I’m going to but you can only push someone so far).
A lot of times, people, particularly women (yes – I’m calling you out), look for things that aren’t there. You think you have the 6th sense for cheating that lets you know if he is. I’ve even heard of women checking their man’s pockets for numbers and underwear for “evidence.” Then, they get surprised if he does cheat. If he’s going to get accused of cheating and called a dog, he may as well go bury his bone.
If you’re going to accuse a man of playing games and cheating, at least have some evidence. Don’t go on a hunch. Don’t go off what your lonely assed girlfriends have to say. If you have proof, fine. Until then, stop looking for sh*t to argue about. Life is hard enough without that.
So ladies, go ahead keep knocking on the devil’s door. When you see your man inside with his feet up on the couch, don’t say you weren’t warned.
Feel free to comment.
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Damn this sounds like my life!!! The thing is I have absolutely NO desire to cheat on my wife. I mean not even a “if I was certain she wouldn’t find out” kinda thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still completely heterosexual; so I appreciate the many chocolate coated amazons here in Atlanta. But I ain’t even thinking about making plans to do ‘em! Even with what she KNOWS about me, I still get accused of creepin, based on NOTHING more than her unreliable-ass “feelings”. Which are completely based on her miserable-ass friends.
The bottom line is Insecurity does not go away. If you ain’t married to her, drop her. If you are married to her, get your affairs in order, stack up a nest-egg, then drop her.
It’s that “insecurity” that leads to a lot of misunderstanding and arguments. I don’t get why females look for something to argue about. Can my ladies help me?
I think many women do that because we are so used to guys cheating on us. I personally don’t do that, it would really have to bug me for me to say something. I just asked don’t get mad if a male friend (whom I have not had sex with and isn’t gay) txts or emails me.
And your right…you keep knocking it just may get answered.
Nice to hear from a female that agrees. I hate that petty sh*t. Don’t go trying to check my phone. Don’t go accusing me of some bullsh*t that isn’t there, unless you want to push me in that direction.
Or if you hve EVIDENCE! Or even a witness who thinks maybe they saw someone who fits my general description.
Can’t go there with you Greenbacker. That general description sh*t. Leaves too much room for error.
Sunny D, I can understand that you have friends that might text you or email you, ones I haven’t met and may never meet. That’s when I have to trust you. If I can’t trust you, we don’t need to be together anyway.
Ugh, some women make me regret having a vagina. I don’t feel the need to search through my man’s phone or side eye him when his phone goes off at weird hours. I might be too chill, but that’s just me. My last real relationship, we were chilling it was three a.m. his phone went off and I excused myself from the room so he could have his conversation and I wasn’t being sarcastic in telling him I was giving him space to answer his call.
We didn’t argue, we didn’t fight. He just told me it wasn’t like that and pulled me closer to him. That was all. Some women I tell you.
I think that’s how is should be handled. And I don’t mind if a woman asks a question. If you’re unsure about something, it’s totally natural to ask, but don’t be accusing someone of something if there’s no proof of it happening. That’s the quickest way to push someone away.
I can co-sign on the 4 friend thing as mine are spread out all over the country too. It’s a woman’s nature to want to be insecure about damn near everything that’s why she is happy that someone likes her. She finds validation in a guy chasing after her but if it looks like you are treating her normal she freaks out a bit.
A Man can only take being accused of something for so long. I get called a dog but my life is pretty uneventful too. I just don’t have that creeping angle in my life. But, like most Men I don’t like to be questioned about what I am doing when realistically it’s unrelated to her totally. So in the end I just try to treat them like my mother when I was a teenager. I just overdo it and call them everytime I do something to the point where they get pissed off. Then if they bring the ish up again I overdo it again until they get it through their thick ass heads.
Real talk most women are paranoid of everything. They are scared to go to the mall, go to the grocery store, walk in a parking lot by themselves and stay in the house by themselves. The whole world is dangerous to them so sometimes they look at their protector and wonder do they have to worry about him too. It’s just their nature. They are like those little shivering dogs in the pet store that are just breathing stuffed animals. It’s their nature to shiver!
Freeman, you ain’t ever lie! I don’t get it. I think men are more secure, which is why we don’t need to surround ourselves with tag-a-longs and people we only talk to every 5 years. I could never get jealous like that no matter who she’s talking to. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that I’m secure in myself and what we have. I don’t understand it.
This is my first post, been following you for awhile but for some reason this one really compelled me to comment. First I want to tell you I am a confident woman that is not the jealous type. But after reading some of your posts not sure some of what you said would fly with me either. You called her your “old lady” which indicates you are in an established relationship but then said she has never met any of your friends. You go on to say you turned off your phone because you did not feel like talking to anyone? Why turn it off? You don’t have to pick up. I know most of these blogs are for pure entertainment purposes but you have to believe at least somewhat what you writing about. Not sure if she reads them or not but I would start questioning things as well. If she is that jealous over nothing things probably won’t work out and you should just end it. But if this is something you don’t want to end maybe you should try and hear why she is having the reaction she is. A lot of times people only see their side and that is where the communication break down starts.
Welcome Ms. Q. I’m glad you’ve been reading and happy you’ve decided to comment.
First, as I said, I have NO friends in this area. NONE. Like I said, we have a lot of mutual friends and go out often. It’s not like I’m trying not to go anywhere and keeping her in a closet. I’ve lived around the country and met a lot of people. I’ve actually tried to get together with some friends and take her along, but it never seemed to work out. She knows this. One time I actually showed her my BB and defied her to find a friend who lives in the same area code. Got none. No need to lie about it, just being real.
Second, I turned it off because I didn’t feel like talking. When it goes off and I don’t answer it, I get “Aren’t you going to answer it?”, like I have to answer it. If I do answer it, I get the “why do you have to answer it, you’re supposed to be spending time with me” speech. Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.
Maybe I’m different, but I look at the net gain. What is the net gain of me trying to play someone? Only a fool would do this for pure entertainment. I could see if I was dating a multi-millionaire and was trying to get something on the side, but that’s not the case.
For p*ssy? Child please. This kind of stuff causes too much drama to try to dip and dive and be shady for sex. If sex comes with the drama of trying to cover up too many lies, I’d rather masterbate.
Just to play with feelings? I have too much other sh*t to do to be trying to just toy with people. It’s not worth it.
Indeed..if there is no trust, there is no relationship
Preach. Testify to the rest of your kind! I don’t understand all this jealously out there.
ROTFLMYAO
Now, I must say if you keep seeking eventually you will find!! I hate to say it but some women are self sabotager, I have been guilty myself of being a self sabotager. But as I get older and smarter I realized if I need to go thru your shit then I don’t need to be with you. period.
I’m just saying…
Who was the most important person you spent time with today?
Me. Even I can’t get enough of Trueman
Nice brief and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Thank you as your information.
Glad I could help.
Well, I was really impressed with that. I told my friend and she agreed with me. I would love to hear more on this. Brilliant!