I have a passion and vision for helping men be better. Not only “better,” but best. For a lot of guys, best seems unreachable. “Best” is reserved for those men whom we listen to their podcasts, read their books, listen to them speak on screen or at a conference. In our eyes, they are where they are because they are near perfect, unlike us. We are worn down, beaten, and burned. “Best” is not in the cards for us. We might put forth a little effort to be better, but we do not see a path toward best. We tend to put other men, leaders, on a pedestal not realizing that they too are the same as us.
So, how do we get from here, to better, to best?
Bridging the Gap
As I was forming Man Among Boys, I realized that in order to help men become better equipped in raising the next generation of men, we were going to have to find a way to bridge the gap. The gap is that vast space between where you are and where you would love to be. It is that gap between yourself and where you see other men that you admire and possibly follow, read, or listen to. For some of you, it is just a giant leap. You can see it but you cannot see how to jump that far. For others, the gap is infinite. Your thoughts are not on how to get over there. There is no “over there.” Today’s Weekly Whetstone is for you. There is a way.
The first step, and our message today; be proud to be a burnt stone.
What Kind of Stone Are You?
I am a burnt stone and proud of it. In the book of Nehemiah, my favorite book of the Bible, we learn that Nehemiah has a passion for his people and sees the great need to step up and lead by rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem. Without the wall, his people were subjected to great harm. The first chapter tells us the wall was destroyed and burned. Nehemiah, with the help of many people rebuilt the wall in a miraculous 52 days. When the opposition looked at the destroyed wall, they ridiculed what they saw as destruction.
“…Can they bring the stones back to life from those heaps of rubble – burned as they are? Nehemiah 4:2 NIV
Nehemiah saw something different. He saw burnt stones. These stones were perfect to use as building material. You see, these stones had already been tested. They were ugly. They were scarred. They were dirty. They were charred. But they were tough. They were strong. They were hardened by fire. They could be trusted because they had already been put through the heat and pressure of battle. These are the stones that were chosen to protect the next generation.
Is the light bulb coming on yet? I am talking about you. You are a burnt stone. So am I.
Most men you follow are burnt stones. You just may not have thought of them in that way as you viewed them as something greater than you. They really are not greater than you. They just realize that they have been burned for a purpose. They have been tested, tried, and treated. Instead of lying in the “heaps of rubble,” they decided to use their scars and blemishes, or as I view it, their evidence of strengthening, as a greater purpose to serve others.
Sometimes we see our leaders fall from grace. In some of the cases, these men may not have been burnt stones. They fall because this is the first time they have been exposed to fire. I hate to see these men come down, but how awesome it is to see the ones that eventually rise from the ashes and lead even stronger lives. They embrace the burn and use it to increase their influence. Their message becomes more powerful and those they lead engage with them because they now see them as they see themselves, as a burnt stone.
Not everyone is tasked to lead the masses, so please do not think that this is what this message is about. You might be called in this way, but for most, this is a calling to first and foremost lead your family. Be proud to be a burnt stone. You are the best kind of stone. Embrace your scars. Use them to teach your son about life. As a burnt stone, you are equipped to be a great dad. You are battle-tested. Maybe this is the first time you are hearing this. Maybe you have unintentionally been holding yourself back believing you were unqualified. That is not true! You may need to dust yourself off a bit, and there may be a process ahead of you to clean up but begin today. Your son needs you.
If you are a burnt stone, then you are more than ready to be a Man Among Boys. What has been your excuse is now your qualification, certification, and invitation to be better. Eventually, you will see a way to bridge that gap and become your best.
