Bold. This is one of the most powerful four-letter words in the English language. And above all else, boldness is the quality that every man should aspire to possess. You might read the previous sentence and think, “Here we go…another one of those ultra-macho guys, preaching about toughness and masculinity.” Well, you are partly right. I do wholeheartedly believe in toughness as a part of masculinity and yes, I do believe men should be tough as opposed to weak, frail, and passive. But please do not dumb down boldness to mean “tough.” Boldness is refined. It is distinguished. It is disciplined. It is something that must be sharpened and polished. Too often people confuse boldness with undesirable traits like, brash, arrogant, loud, aggressive, pushy, and forceful. We do not want any of these words to define us. In fact, for people like me, we see the insecurities behind those qualities. They are just a mask that allow people to stay in control in the hopes that those insecurities will not be exposed. But the truth is, a bold man can transform any of these qualities, with discipline, and use them for the good of those he leads. In a bold man, those traits look something more like this; confident, daring, courageous, undaunted, audacious, selfless, and yes, tough. At the same time, a bold man can discern a situation and carefully exercise those attributes, when necessary, with gentleness, kindness, respect, forbearance, benevolence, and humility. We see this several times in the story of Nehemiah. He considered his situation and moved forward with boldness accordingly.
“In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before; so the king asked me, ‘Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.’ I was very much afraid, but I said to the king, ‘May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my fathers are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?’ The king said to me, ‘What is it you want?’ Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered the king, ‘If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my fathers are buried so I can rebuild it.’” Nehemiah 2:1-5 NIV
It may be hard for us to realize how bold it actually was for Nehemiah to speak up and even request something before the king. Although his position required him to be in the king’s presence daily, this did not mean that he had the right or permission to speak freely of his personal concerns. Even when the king asked him, “What is it you want,” Nehemiah knew he could be punished or even put to death for saying something that displeased his master. I am sure there has been a time for each of us that we have been nervous to address our boss for a particular need. But have we ever feared imprisonment or death? He could have received this fate just for appearing downcast in the king’s presence. I can certainly relate. I do not have the adeptness of hiding my passion. Regardless, his calling to leadership and his burning passion to restore and protect his people, outweighed any potential unfavorable outcome.
Men, you may never be put in the dangerous situation that Nehemiah was in. But you will be faced often with hard things, hard predicaments, hard questions, hard decisions, hard conversations, and hard confrontations. What will you do? Will you run? Will you hide? Will you pass the buck? Will you bow out? Or will you do the hard thing? If you decide to do the hard thing, and that is the correct decision by the way, then the next question is, how? What will drive you to tackle these hard things head on? The answer is found in another verse from the Bible.
“The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.” Proverbs 28:1 NIV
The answer is boldness.
I grew up a quiet boy. Yes, like everyone, I had insecurities, but being quiet had more to do with my gifts. I take everything in. I listen. I discern. No, I did not understand as a child that this was part of my leadership. I was quiet, but I was always involved in leading. I was a quiet leader. I do recognize that I was insecure in many areas (this is vital to recognize if you are going to grow). I carried these insecurities into my adulthood. I forced myself into daring situations, but I could not seem to get over the hump with my lack of confidence and self-doubt. I specifically remember praying one day for boldness, “Lord, please help me to be bold.” Last week, in Part 2, I asked the question, “Do You Pray?” Prayer is so important, and specifically, praying what God has already told us in his Word. Not long after praying this prayer, I “happened” across the above verse. It changed my life. Let’s break down this verse as I believe it can help you discover the boldness inside of you as well.
This scripture describes two different kinds of people. One, “the wicked” (translated from a word meaning guilty; guilty of crime or guilty of sin) who are those who do not yet know the Lord, and two, “the righteous.” These are the people who have accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior and are now righteous, or right standing, with the Lord. It says that the wicked run away even though no one is even chasing them. They flee every hard situation. The righteous on the other hand are resilient. They are bold. They are so bold in fact that the Lord likens them to the king of beasts, the lion. Lions do not run from anything. They are the most courageous and confident animal that God created. And He says that our boldness is the same as the lion! Wow! This verse changed my life as I understood that this is how God made me. Bold.
I believe Nehemiah fully understood this. His comprehension of what the Lord placed inside of him, and you as well, caused him to face courageous circumstances with dauntless passion and conviction. You have this same boldness on the inside of you. For me, this empowered me as I realized that boldness was not something I had to find somewhere. Rather, it was something I already possessed. I just had to tap into it. And I did. In fact, my wife on occasions has had to rein me back in and ask me to dial it down a bit. This is why I said that boldness is refined. There was a time early on that my wife told me I was coming off as arrogant, although I knew in my heart, I was just confident. Regardless, I had to own perception and sharpen my boldness to appropriately serve those I love and care for. Still yet, I would rather discipline boldness than display none at all.
Men, you might never have to lead and rebuild a whole people group as Nehemiah was called to do. But, if you are a dad, then that is exactly what you should be doing in your home daily. As a Man Among Boys, you must possess boldness. Your son needs you to be bold with him. Boldness is how you speak with him about sex. Someone will teach your son about sex and pornography. Boldness will make sure the most influential voice speaking on those topics is yours. Boldness will tell your son that he cannot get in the vehicle and take off with kids that you know are up to no good. Boldness will set boundaries in his life that his peers do not have. Boldness will tell your son you love him and are proud of him when he experiences failure and loss. Boldness will cause him to see you humbly, sacrificially, and passionately love his mother. If you ask men what the most important quality that a man must possess is, the answers would vary and be many. And, most likely, they would all be very good answers. But if you ask me, being bold is the fuel behind every other answer.
Are You Bold?
