Has someone ever said something to you, or you heard a quote, or maybe you read a motivational line that is forever engrained in your mind? In my early twenties, right after graduating college, I had the opportunity to take a course taught by Bob Harrison. Bob, also known as “Dr. Increase,” is a well-known best-selling author and speaker. Bob spoke one of these lines to my class that I have never forgotten. I tried to write it in my notes, but I couldn’t remember the exact words. Thankfully, each session was recorded, so the next day I bought the cassette tape. Yes, I said cassette tape. Google it if you are not sure what a cassette tape is, ha!

I listened to the line over and over again. I wrote it on an index card so I could memorize it. For me, it is one of those few lines that has become a part of me. It has had a high level of impact because it has proven true in my life many times. Bob said, “You will always move in the direction of the most dominant images that you allow to reside in your mind.”

I later had the opportunity to teach a couple of Bob’s grandsons in school and coach one of them in football. I was a defensive coordinator and linebacker coach at the time, and Robert, named after his grandpa, set the school single season record for tackles his senior year. He and I forged a special bond and still meet every now and then over a meal. At one of these meetings a few years back, I shared with him the line that I am writing about today. He knew the line well as it was also something instilled in him growing up.

“You will always move in the direction of the most dominant images that you allow to reside in your mind.”

What do you think about the most? Do negative thoughts flood your mind every morning when you wake up? Do you lie in bed at night in fear? Do you seek unhealthy avenues of escape in the hopes of not being overwhelmed in your thought life? I ask these questions because there was a dark season of my life as a man that I answered, “Yes,” to these questions. It was a negative loop cycle that had no ending. I had to force myself to break the cycle and overcome these areas of torment in my mind. There is no way for you to move in the direction of your true purpose when the forefront thoughts of your mind are pulling you in the opposite direction.

If you want out of this vicious cycle, then you have to decide to take action. You must change the images that you are allowing. Yes, you are in charge. You “allow” or do not “allow” these thoughts. You have a say. You have a choice. You have authority.

If you want freedom in your thought life, if you want control, if you want your life to move in a different direction, then start today to do things differently in your daily life and routine.

Here are some of the impactful ways in which I learned to change my thoughts and change the direction I was headed.

  • Pray. I am a firm believer in prayer. I spend time praying every day communicating with God.
  • Read. Reading is one of the healthiest things you can do for your mind. The most successful people in the world, the high achievers, the thought leaders all read daily.
  • Unplug. I enjoy watching a good movie with my family, streaming the new action thriller series, or checking my social media accounts. But if I am using these as continual escape mechanisms, then these are not healthy, and it is time to unplug.
  • Connect. During my dark season, I did not want to connect with anyone. I eventually had to force myself to get out, set up weekly calls or meetings with friends, lead groups at church, and say yes to my wife more often about going out with other couples.
  • Find Creative Outlets. Pursue your purpose and then find ways to be creative and for others to enjoy your creativity. I started a blog…here we are!
  • Speak Differently. Pay attention to the words coming out of your mouth. These words are usually coming from the overflow of your heart. If your words are negative, then your heart and thoughts may be negative as well. Be disciplined in changing your speech to reflect how you want your mind to operate. There is much to say in the Bible and in scientific research about the power of your words.
  • Give. One of the greatest ways to heal your mind and heart is to help others heal. Your messages that I receive on social media (minus the few who hate that I am helping men be better) are a constant reminder to me that I must keep my mind in check and stay the course.
  • Overcome. Get off the easy road, the path to least resistance. It leads nowhere! Start tackling some hard things that you know are in your way. Each time you overcome, you grow in confidence and positive mindset.
  • Love. Stop disliking everyone and give others the benefit of the doubt. This is what you want from others so do it yourself. In my dark season, I was judgmental. Having this quality is an outward sign to others that you are not doing well. Love your family and friends. Find ways to show love and kindness to others around you, even the ones that make it hard. This is remarkably freeing.

Men, you have some work to do. Take control of your mind and begin moving in better directions. You are valuable. You are needed. You have what it takes!