A widely popular scripture verse among men is Proverbs 27:17:
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
This verse appeals to our masculine senses as it describes sharpening iron for weaponry. It is bold and right to the point; just how we like it! It directly demonstrates the importance for men to have other men in their lives that challenge them, hold them accountable, strengthen them, lift them up (carry or sometimes even drag them) when needed, slap them around, and dare I even say, listen.
Earlier this morning, I got to video conference with my closest friend, Brent. We have always held tight to the above verse as it has proven so true in our friendship over the last twenty plus years. We met right as we were starting our families and careers. It was the beginning of our most important journey, manhood. We were just two very young, wide-eyed high school football coaches trying to figure out our place in this world. I can honestly say I would not be a fraction of the man, husband, father, leader, or friend I am today if it was not for his friendship during those crucial growing years. A lot of what I am sharing today comes from the lessons he and I learned together.
One of the greatest snares for men is the thought, belief, and stubborn mindset that they do not need anyone. They can do it on their own.
“Well, I’ve made it this far!” Well, yes that is true, and you are still standing in the same spot you were 20, 30, 40 years ago.
I have even fell for this lie in seasons of my life. Let me tell you, men/dads, life is so much better when you let your guard down and accept help and friendship from other men. Isolation is man’s worst enemy. One of the greatest lies in every man’s mind is that he is all alone. Men do not open up because they believe no one else would understand what they are going through. The reality is the majority of other men do understand because they are dealing with the exact same issues in life. Insecurity is the reason men hold it all in while masking it with masculinity. Masculinity provides courage and strength. Hiding your problems is not housed under masculinity.
Many wives may have heard this statement before, “Leave me alone, I’m not hurting anybody.” I want to give you a fresh perspective on this mentality. It is self-centered. How selfish of us men to make it about ourselves. Men, if this is you, I want you to realize something. YOU are deciding for YOUrself that YOU will stay in isolation because that is what YOU want. You may want to be alone because you have found a comfortable place in that, but there are people who really need you. Of, course your family needs you, but there are also other men who could benefit from being sharpened by you.
In a book that Brent and I read several years ago, Season of Life by Jeffrey Marx, an alarming statistic was given about men. “The typical male over the age of thirty-five has what psychologists would say is less than one genuine friend, not even one person, on average, with whom he can reveal his true self and share his deepest, most intimate thoughts.” Men, think about that for a moment. That probably hits deep. This isn’t talking about the guys you play basketball with, your fishing buddies, or the boys you have a couple beers with while watching the game. Those friends are great, but they may not be the same ones the statistic is referencing. Do you share with them your struggles? Vision? Hurt? Do you ask them to keep you accountable? If not, then you are still part of this “typical male” category.
Men, create some relationships. It takes courage to create. The good news is we were created by a Creator to create. You are hardwired to create, build, nurture, strengthen and maintain healthy relationships.
God did not create men to live in isolation.
