“Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on who his favor rests’.” Luke 2:13-14

“…the punishment that brought us peace was upon him…” Isaiah 53:5 NIV

In 2004, my wife and I were expecting our first child.  Pregnancy comes with an array of emotions.  It is not the same for everyone.  For some women, they look back and see only joy.  Some, anxiety.  Others, pain.  For us, there was an extreme excitement, a little anxiety, ending in great pain.   

I was coaching high school football during this time.  We were beyond excited.  We wanted to tell our parents in a special way the wonderful news.  The week after we verified with the doctor that my wife was indeed pregnant, we came up with some creative ways to tell our parents.  My mom and dad were coming to that Friday night’s big game.  We were playing an undefeated team who was one of the favorites to win the state title.  I told my wife, “If we win, bring my parents down to the field after the game and we will tell them then.  If we lose, then we’ll tell them another time.”  In dramatic fashion, we did win the game and sealed a district championship.  Our team was visitors and our side of the stadium erupted.  The home team announcer boldly warned that no one was allowed onto the field.  I yelled to my wife from the field, “Ignore that!”  We shared our news with my parents, and I believed that life could not get any better than that moment. 

On November 23, 2004, two days before Thanksgiving and the beginning of the always much anticipated holiday season, our excitement ended.  My wife was staying a couple of days with her parents as I had to stay behind with our team preparing for the state semi-final play-off game that weekend.  That Tuesday ended at the emergency room.  There we learned that our baby did not live.  As a husband and would be father, I experienced a pain greater than I ever had before.  There was the obvious pain of losing our child.  That pain was horrendous, and it was immediate.  There was another pain that was not so immediate, and it was the one that stayed with me for a long time.  That pain came from being a man who did not know how to take his wife’s pain away.  Up to this point, I learned many ways to bring peace to my wife if she was hurting.  This was different.  I was not trained for this one.  There was nothing I could do to bring peace to a mother who lost the life that was inside of her. 

As Christmas approached, we did not experience the usual joy, peace, and hope that we all love to talk and sing about.  It was a very somber time.  It was not like the traditional Christmases I greatly cherished from years preceding.  Although, choosing joy was too difficult that year, the Christmas season did teach me something about how to be a man for my wife and our future family.   

I realized during that Christmas season that I had a lot to learn as a man.  I never wanted to feel the way I did again; helpless.  I was very tough on the outside.  Stoic, solid, impenetrable.  I had worked years on being this way.  That is what was most important as a man, right?  These are good qualities for a man to possess, but they are supplementary qualities.  They are not foundational.  We men take pride in being impermeable, not letting things in, and subsequently, not letting things out.  The stoic and sturdy exterior works very well until, well, it doesn’t.  My wife experiencing great pain and me, as her man, not being able to take it from her hit me in my deepest core.  It easily pierced through my outward safeguards that I had spent years constructing.  I realized that Christmas that I was missing something.

Peace

Christmas is a season of joy, as I wrote about last week in Linus Got It Right and Setting the Tone.  The joy was the announcement that God was sending his Son who would provide us peace.  Peace is a recurring theme as we study the true reason for Christmas.  Through God’s redemptive plan, He was providing us peace.  We know that.  I knew that.  I’ve heard the story my whole life.  I see the signs posted everywhere at Christmas.  I sing the Christmas songs about peace.  What I did not know, and what I learned that Christmas season, was that I had control of that peace.  He provided the peace.  I just had to let it in. 

During this time, in an attempt to rebuild myself as the man I needed to be, I found 14 scriptures that described who I desired to be.  I read them everyday until I memorized them.  I said them aloud every single day.  17 years later, I still speak those verses over myself every single morning.  One of those verses says this:

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.”  Colossians 3:15 NIV

What I realized was through the Christmas message, God already provided peace.  It was already here.  Many times, we pray for peace not recognizing that it was already given.  It is already abundantly here.  I love the beginning of this verse as it contains the key; the word “Let.”  Let declares that we have the control to allow, to permit, to authorize, to give consent, and to give permission.  These are all actions that we have control of and we men like control.  “Let” is an action.  We possess the ability to “let” peace in or not.  The verse goes on to teach us that the peace of Christ can rule, reign, and have dominion in our hearts if we allow it to.  It is our choice. 

Men, I am asking you to do something that you are not used to.  This Christmas, allow, permit, authorize, let peace in.  You will never be the man you need to be for your family nor the complete father to your sons if peace does not have reign in your heart.  If peace is not ruling, then the opposite of peace is.  Peace is power.  It is not the hippie, flowery, passive portrayal that we sometimes picture in our heads.  It is a powerful force that can help lead you as you grow, make decisions, instruct, and discipline your children, and love and devote yourself to your wife.

There is a reason that we see a theme at Christmas.  Joy, Peace, and Hope.  Last week, I wrote about JOY.  This week is PEACE.  Next week I will write about something that is essential for every man, his lifeblood, HOPE.

Men, LET PEACE.