“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him.” Psalms 62:5 NIV
This Christmas season I chose to write about the three things that I believe God gave to us through the birth of His Son. These are Joy, Peace, and Hope. These three aspects of the Christmas message should strengthen us every year, but instead they are lost in the ever-increasing hustle and bustle, shopping, pleasing family members, spending money, and flat-out exhaustion. The irony is that this is supposed to be a time of rest. After my first of the three articles, Choose Joy, several people shared with me how much they have grown to dislike this season. That is heartbreaking. The following Sunday, I went into leading our group exhausted. I was up late wrapping presents and preparing for a Sunday evening gathering with my extended family. I worked all day, have had little rest, and haven’t had a weekend off in several weeks. I was definitely running on E when I started our group that morning. I struggled. But what was worse, everyone in our usually highly energetic, joyful, and very talkative group was quiet. We were all worn down from the season and we were still a week away from Christmas Day! I really had a hard time with this. It weighed on me every day that following week. Why has it come to this?
You may be reading this and saying, “What are you talking about? I do have joy, peace, and hope at Christmas. I do rest and greatly enjoy the holiday season.” Well, I do too. You have it figured out, and that is great. But look around. That is what I am doing. I am looking around. My people, your people, are having a hard time. They, we, need hope. Hope is here. We just have to find it. Let’s talk about what that means and why it is so very important, in fact crucial, for men.
The Lifeblood of Men
“…it is a wicked thing to take away a man’s hope.” Winston Churchill
“To live without hope is to cease to live.” Fyodor Dostoevsky
“Hope is the last thing ever lost.” Italian Proverb
“Take away a man’s hope and you take away his will to live.” Unknown (but spoken from the heart of every man)
“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
Some of these quotes may have been hard to read as, like myself, you may have lost loved ones due to a struggle in securing hope. There is a reason why I call hope man’s lifeblood. Hope is what sustains a man through the darkest of battles. It is his will to live. Without hope, he can find little reason to get up, be productive, grow, and unfortunately live. When God chose to send His Son into the world, it was to bring hope to years and years of struggle. Men found hope in prophecies of the coming Messiah, but it was time for those prophecies to be fulfilled. It was time for hope. The birth of Christ, the real Christmas message, was man’s hope manifested through His physical presence on the earth. Men, Christmas is so much more than presents, vacation, and family time. It is a time to find hope.
Ladies, when you see that distant stare in your husband’s eyes, he does not smile like he used too, and/or he spends most of his free time getting lost in some form of alternate reality, he may be dealing with a loss of hope. He may have lost his internal vision, his passions, or even understanding of his purpose (we will talk about purpose in my next article). I know this because I dealt with these. As I shared in the How To Survive A Tornado series, it took me a few years to recover and rebuild myself. Due to struggle and understanding my purpose, I quickly recognize it in so many other men all around me. It is real. Men need hope.
I do not make New Year’s resolutions. Years ago, I came across the “One Word” method. Instead of setting goals and resolutions that statistically go unaccomplished, I focus on one word the entire year. I have been doing this for several years now and it has not failed me yet. At the beginning of every year, I pray about the one word that I need to focus on the entire year that will help me grow as a person. Without fail, a word will come to me, and I spend that year developing in that area. I tell you this for two reasons. One, we are coming up on the new year, and two, my word this past year was HOPE. I encourage you to do this same thing or something similar. Pray, meditate, or whatever you do to dig deep, and find your one word. What is something that you need in your life and that you could benefit greatly from zeroing in on? When you know what it is, devote intentional time throughout the year growing in that area. Pray about it, read books about it, listen to podcasts, tell a close friend or accountability partner what it is and for sure read Man Among Boys! I believe there is even a book written about One Word and a devotion on the YouVersion app. Some of my past yearly words were, prayer, friend, and intentional to name a few. INTENTIONAL changed my perspective greatly and you read that word a lot in my writings.
For a lot of you men reading this, HOPE may be your word or your focus this next year. If it is not, then whatever is will most likely provide support in bringing or increasing hope in your life. Hope is an assurance that things will be better. It is a confidence that there is a way out of the things that you feel have trapped you. Hope is the spark that ignites your engine. Hope is your lifeblood. In our men’s circles, we hear a lot of manly words like, motivation, drive, ignite, fuel, stamina, endurance, resilience, etc. These are great buzz words, and they are used to influence men to get up, take control of their lives, and be the best men they can be. But the simple word HOPE is the force behind each one of these. No matter how you look at or how you motivate yourself or others, it all comes back to the lifeblood, hope.
There is so much deeper that we could go and should go with this. And, through Man Among Boys, we will throughout this next year. For now, as the new year approaches, let us first recognize what it is in our lives that is holding us back; what it is that has distracted us from choosing joy and letting peace rule in our hearts. Let’s find hope. This website is dedicated to equipping, encouraging, and empowering men who are raising the next generation of men. We cannot do that if we first do not find our hope.
I launched this site July 7 of this year. It was a 20-year vision, and it was my hope during a difficult season of my life. When I struggled with finding hope, of course my wife, three sons, and faith in God were my hope, but so was this website. This was always on my mind; helping men to be better husbands, fathers, friends, and leaders. I could not shuck this and trust me I tried many times. I did not want to focus on this. I knew this would take more of me than I had to give. Therefore, it took years to actually do it. With that said, I am grateful to finally see this in tangible form and excited for this next year to move in other areas of my vision. The vision is overwhelming and larger than I can even comprehend most of the time. But, it all started on, and continues to run with, HOPE.
Men, if you are struggling, then let’s find and start with HOPE. That will be our foundation to build on for this brand-new year.
