I was born into this world following the sudden loss of my biological father. He tragically passed away in his early twenties due to a heart attack. To make it worse, he died on my parents front lawn while my very pregnant mom attempted CPR on him. I entered this world four months later. The trajectory of our family’s lives and roles would be changed forever. I am so grateful for the man who immediately stepped in to show me the love of a father. He was the very first man my eyes ever saw and my first earthly father to hold me in his arms and love me unconditionally.
He was my hero, my grandfather, Papa Topper.
He was born in Tulsa, OK on July 24, 1924. He was cotton top as a kid which bore him one of his many nicknames. He graduated from Tulsa Central and was drafted into WWII, serving in Okinawa, Japan. He has the best stories from his service years as he did photography and toprapical mapping of the local areas. He attended the University of Tulsa after his return from war. He then met and married my Grandma, Gordonna. They had two children while living in Tulsa before their adventurous spirits led them to buy a farm in Locust Grove, OK. One of my favorite stories of when they first bought the farm was when he crawled under the house and said “Good news, we don’t have plumbing issues! That’s because we don’t have any plumbing!” This farm would be where so much of my childhood took place. Horseback riding, playing in the great outdoors, and working in the woodshop were some of my favorites. I bet my Papa cut out a 1,000 hearts for me to paint in that old wood shed. He never acted annoyed by my requests. He just got more creative and broadened his skills. He made heart puzzles, hearts with the center that would slide in and out, and could write my name inside the heart as it slid in and out. I loved our time in the woodshed together. He taught me to be creative, always dream, keep trying and always be patient with not only others but with myself.
He was a man of many talents. He was a horseman, a gifted pianist, a photographer, and he documented so much of my life from his lens. He was great at capturing his own unique perspective. He was a great outdoors man. It didn’t really matter what outdoor activity it was, he just loved being there. He taught me how to ride a horse. He put me in the arena to show my very first pony at age 3. He loved boating, skiing, fishing, camping and tinkering in his shop. He and my grandma were masters at creating a great day on the water. He has given all of us a great love for the outdoors and all the adventure that it offers.
He was always present, slow to react, and had a kind and gentle smile that stretched across his entire face. He always greeted me with my nickname even up until the very end. A greeting that doesn’t just put a smile on your face, but also joy in your heart, “Oh, Lester, what do you know?”
On April 25th of this year, my grandfather would give me what would turn out to be the greatest slumber party. I was given the gift of a lifetime one final time with my hero. My grandma was having chest pains and went to the hospital to get checked out and eventually was confirmed to have a minor heart attack. I offered to stay with Papa as my mom was with my grandma at the hospital. It would be a slumber party of closure, of remembrance, of thankfulness, and of lying awake listening to his every breath. We talked about his war days, the longevity of his marriage, and the day I was born. It was the slowest and quietest evening I have had in years. He would tell me stories and then take a nap in mid-sentence only to awake again and keep on talking. He told me how proud my father would have been of all of us. He talked about how proud he was of my father, John, who chose to adopt and raise me as his own. He just talked and it was the greatest gift to just sit and be in his presence with his final thoughts.
He passed just two weeks shy of his 97th birthday. In June, my grandparents celebrated their 71st Wedding Anniversary.
The day Zac and I launched our website manamongboys.com was the day my hero passed from this earth into heaven. Our vision of building up families, raising sons along with the undeniable heart my husband has to reach men and boys in our world today, entered the world the same day my Papa left it. I know my grandpa would consider it a great joy that we will carry on all the values and family traditions he has passed down to us. We are called to finish the race and to keep pressing on towards the goal. My grandfather’s legacy will live on through us and the vision God has placed in our hearts. We invite you on this journey with us to grieve, grow and be all that God has called you to be in this life.
My Papa was a son, army buddy, co-worker, friend, father, and husband. But, to his son, my dad, my brother, my husband, and his eight great-grandsons, he was a true Man Among Boys.
He was my hero.
What a legacy we have to carry on.
