How important is a man’s heart? In my family, this question is always front and center in our minds. Both of my grandpas had heart disease. One had five heart attacks. My dad, just a few years back, had a quadruple bypass heart surgery. And my wife’s biological father passed away from a heart attack before she was born. He was twenty-five years young. So, yeah, our answer to this question is a resounding, “VERY!”

As we all know, the heart is vital to all aspects of our functioning and being as it pumps oxygenated blood and nutrients to all parts of our body. Without it, we do not live. As important as this is, this is not what I am referring to, when I say, “the heart of a man.” I am referring to the symbolic heart that each of us have. This is the most central part of you, who you are, why you are, what you are, how you are, etc. The central force that makes you, you.

What Do You Mean, “HEART?”

Recently, I led a group of men in a teaching from the classic men’s book Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. About ten minutes into the discussion, a gentleman stopped me and asked, “Zac, what are you meaning by the word ‘heart?’ Are you talking about the literal heart, or what do you mean?” I had never thought to put an actual definition to the word “heart” in this manner. I just thought everyone knew what this universal word meant. I was a little stunned by the question, but after a couple seconds of realizing that I did not have a quick and bold reply, I garnered an appreciation that he asked. In an effort to deflect while I got my thoughts together, I said, “Well, good question. How would you men answer this?”

“Your will, your affections, your motivation, your being, your driving force” were some of the answers that were given. These were all great answers and while they were being shared, I recalled a verse from the Bible that I believed summed it up for me.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23 NIV

This same verse in the NLT version says that the heart “determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 27:19 says, “As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man” (NIV). These verses are also referring to the symbolic heart that we are discussing. Our inner self, heart, directs who we are and what we do. Our physical self is even reflective of who we are on the inside.

These symbolic definitions are also found in dictionaries. I took these from Merriam-Webster: personality, disposition; compassion; love, affection; courage or enthusiasm especially when maintained during a difficult situation; one’s innermost character, feelings, or inclinations.

I appreciated this man’s asking for clarification as it caused each of us to look deeper into what this symbol means. Heart is the driving force inside of us for all the things mentioned. It is certainly the wellspring, the continuous source, of who we are. Why is this so important for men?

Importance for Men

Is “heart” only something that men have? Of course not. Women have heart in this sense as well. Although, I do believe this term is used more often when referring to men. It is not because men have more heart, but rather men and women need more understanding of how the heart of a man works. And this is because, generally speaking, women do a better job of talking about these inner workings than men.

The heart of a man is where he finds his purpose, his strength, his hope, his will, his drive, his vision, and much more. When life hits us hard, we tend to lose heart. Without heart, we feel defeated and hopeless. We have people whom we love that are depending on us and we usually do one of two things. We look for ways to escape reality or we put our head down, forsake our vision, and just grind it out. Both of these scenarios take us away from real joy and purpose. But that is ok, because we are men. We know the drill. We know what it takes, and if we just stay busy (whether that means working or escaping) we don’t have to face our heart. This is sad, but reality. And in our minds, necessary.

This is why understanding the heart of a man is so integral. For many men, their heart, their true power, is hidden behind years of grind, hurt, sacrifice, fighting, addiction, depression, or fortified walls that we have constructed. No one can touch our heart, including us. How can this man effectively teach his son to not repeat the same pattern. Men must take heart. Men must find their purpose. This is why Man Among Boys exists. A man among boys refers to a father raising his sons. Men must rediscover who they are and in turn pass this knowledge, this heart, along to their sons.

Keep Your Heart with All Diligence

The men in your life may not have experienced the biological heart issues that mine have. But I am willing to bet that many of you know plenty of men who suffer issues from the symbolic heart of a man we are discussing here. Help the men in your life find their heart again, or for the first time.

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23 NKJV

Men/Fathers, “keep your heart with all diligence.” We need you. Your family needs you. Your son needs his father to show him the way…a better way.

“Heart.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/heart. Accessed 22 Mar. 2023.