Men, do you have a playbook? Do you have something that you believe in that leads and directs you in your daily life? I’m not necessarily talking about an actual physical book, although it certainly can be. What drives you? What do you live for? What is your purpose; your calling? What about your son? What do you draw from to lead, teach, and coach him?
As soon as I graduated high school, my college offensive coordinator mailed me his playbook. He expected me to show up at the end of the summer having digested this information and be ready to live and breathe what was inside of it. I admit, I didn’t fully understand the depth of it as I thought, “Isn’t he just going to teach us this at practice?” Later, as I became a football coach (defensive coordinator), the purpose of the playbook became clear.
Of course, my coach gave us the playbook so that we could learn and familiarize ourselves with his offense. But there is much more to it than that. When I developed my own defensive system, I spent hundreds of hours perfecting that system in text and diagrams to then have it and distribute it in printed form. Why did I do this? Just like my college coach, I believed in it wholeheartedly. I believed in it so much that I wanted to get it in writing. I wanted to make it solid, concrete, and bound. I wanted anyone who opened it to see that they were reading my heart and soul. They could believe in me and follow my lead because they could physically see and feel my passion in tangible form.
I love football. I wore a shirt in high school that said, “Football Is Life. The Rest Is Just Details.” Everything I have gone through in life, every lesson, trial, victory or loss, I can relate it back to a lesson I learned on that Friday night battlefield. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn about life and manhood in this manner. But, in the grand scheme of things, football does not compare with the things that truly matter most now in my life. If I had a similar shirt today it might read something like this, “Football Is Not Life. It Is Just My Favorite Tool In My Toolbox.” Serving God, my family, my friends, and others who I may not even know is now my life. My playbook should now reflect this.
The purpose of a playbook and providing it to others is obviously still an important value to me as you are reading an excerpt right now. I am still perfecting my system and distributing it to anyone who will read it. This playbook is about manhood, fatherhood, and how to raise the next great generation of men. What is great about this new playbook is that I am not just asking you to read mine, but hopefully inspiring you to create your own. Yours does not have to be written. It is more important that yours is just lived. And it needs to be lived in plain view of your son.
Your son is an important player on your team. He is an MVP. He is a playmaker. He needs to be coached by his dad. The most effective way for this to happen is for him to see that his coach, you, believes in the playbook. He also needs to know that you believe in him enough that you would share your system, your beliefs, your values, your playbook with him.
What Is The Playbook?
What I am referring to as playbook is also known as a moral code, a code of ethics, a value system, a moral compass, etc. Every man should have one established inside of him. Hopefully your dad established one for you as a boy. I understand that many of you reading this did not have that opportunity. But that is not an excuse for you to not share one with your son. Again, this is more of a way of life, conversations, lessons, discipline, physically doing things than it is something that is written down. I would define it this way:
The Playbook is a set of values and principles that you have set forth in front of you to guide you in life, in your actions, in your decision-making, and in how you lead, love, and serve your family and others. It is a foundation to lean on or even fall back on as you find who you are, what your purpose is, and what you are called to do on this earth.
For me, my playbook comes from the Bible. My Bible actually says Coach Kemp’s Playbook on the front. My playbook also comes from my dad, my mom, and my experiences that have shaped my passions and worldview. Your playbook may come from some of these same things or maybe something completely different. If this is something new to you, then I encourage you to begin thinking in this way. Find yourself, your purpose, and your calling. Establish actions and conversations that revolve around the values that you are passionate about and use them to lead and love your son. Give him something to lead him forward and to catch him when he falls. Give him a foundation that he can build upon as he develops into his own man one day and eventually does the same thing for his future children.
I believe in teaching my sons to be men who can think for themselves. Having a set of values that you teach your son does not hinder the process of being a free-thinker. Rather, it enhances it by giving him a system that encourages him to never give up on his unique journey. Just like training wheels on a bike teach a child how to ride by providing safeguards, an established code of values helps eliminate unnecessary confusion that could take him way off path or worse, encourage a loss of enthusiasm or zeal for life.
Men, start working on your playbook. If you need help, that is what I am here for. Read mine. Pull what you like and filter what you don’t. I am not the expert in what is best for your family. You are. I’m just willing to help. Begin today to start living what you believe and leading your family accordingly. Remember, your son is always watching, listening, and learning from you whether you realize it or not. Make sure you are presenting your audience with the right tools, lessons, and demonstrations.
